10 years of “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All” | Still challenges for women

In the summer of 2012, the American Anne-Marie Slaughter, a former collaborator of Hillary Clinton, published in the magazine The Atlantic “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All”, an essay that would resonate with many women and cause debate in feminist circles. Ten years and a pandemic later, are women still doomed to make sacrifices?

Valerie Simard
The Press

By leaving her prestigious post at the White House to return to teach at Princeton University, and above all by declaring loud and clear that, contrary to what the previous generation wanted us to believe, women cannot have everything, Anne-Marie Slaughter has drawn praise and criticism.

“Women of my generation have clung to the feminist credo with which they were raised, even as our ranks have been steadily whittled down by intractable tensions between family and career, because we are determined not to let the flag fall. for the next generation, she wrote. But when many members of the younger generation have stopped listening, claiming that casually repeating “we can have it all” is disguising reality, it’s time to speak up. »

Although the demands of her job were extreme — she was only home on the weekends — and her testimony took place in an American reality where paid maternity leave is non-existent and childcare is expensive , his speech resonated in Quebec. Because here too, despite parental leave and the network of early childhood centres, women continued to fight for equality.

Barriers still present

Léa Clermont-Dion, then a student in political science, was one of those who had been called upon to comment, in The Pressthe words of Anne-Marie Slaughter.

“I’m not a mother, but I don’t think we can have it all,” she said at the time. This generation that wanted to have it all was motivated by the quest for performance. It is the syndrome of our society. And I still feel that pressure, we women are given the illusion that we will be superwomen all our life. »

Today, she has two children, aged 2 and 3. She makes documentary films while pursuing postdoctoral studies at Concordia University. Did she manage to have it all? She does not believe.

“During my career in academia, I came across a lot of systemic breaches that made me say that I can’t have everything, certainly not. She points out that having two young children, she hasn’t been able to produce as much research as her male colleagues.

Looking back, she now sees the courage shown by Anne-Marie Slaughter in publishing this text which, according to her, “played a crucially important role around the world in raising awareness of a taboo subject: the systemic and sometimes invisible barriers that can still hinder women in their social ascent”.

These barriers are still present today, according to Hélène Lee-Gosselin, associate professor in the management department at Université Laval. “Is it possible for women to have it all? No, because they operate in a context where organizational imperatives weigh heavily, not only in the present moment when we have to juggle with constraints such as the children are sick, but also in the medium and long term. Will I be perceived as a reliable person for the organization? »

This reality also affects fathers, who want to be more involved in the home, but continues to be more penalizing for mothers, notes the one who has conducted several studies on the situation of women in organizations. And this, despite the implementation, in recent years, of work-family balance policies. “The culture that there may be a penalty for ‘using these policies too much’ hasn’t changed much,” emphasizes the professor.

A glimmer of hope

Breakthrough of the sun in the landscape, the pandemic would have made it easier to reconcile work and family, despite the difficulties in which families were plunged during the first wave, with the closure of daycare centers and schools.

A study conducted by researchers Sophie Mathieu and Diane-Gabrielle Tremblay, based on the results of two surveys conducted by the firm Léger in January 2018 and May 2020 on behalf of the Réseau pour un Québec Famille, shows that a greater proportion of mothers (58%) and fathers (65%) considered their work-family balance to be easy during the pandemic, i.e. increases of six and eight percentage points.

“It can be explained in part because people could telecommute,” says Diane-Gabrielle Tremblay, professor at the TELUQ School of Administrative Sciences, who has been studying work-family balance for years. “So, even though there have been some difficult times, I think that overall the organizations are more open, in relation to women in particular. »

However, women have had to quit their jobs or cut their hours to care for children (or a sick relative), and while men have done more housework, women have done even more, adds she.

She is also concerned about the lack of childcare spaces, a “major issue” that could affect the participation rate of women.

A privileged point of view

Written at a time when intersectional issues were little discussed, Anne-Marie Slaughter’s text has a significant blind spot, points out Léa Clermont-Dion. From the perspective of a very privileged white woman, he does not consider the oppressions that can make the situation worse. “But if Anne-Marie is out of breath, unable to make it, as a privileged white woman, what is it for all those who don’t have her privileges? »

A woman of Tunisian origin working in the technology sector, Asma Ghali witnesses the systemic barriers that still exist for workers in non-traditional sectors, who are also from a minority. Program manager at IBM, the 30-year-old guides several women from diverse backgrounds as part of a mentoring program set up by the company.

“It’s not natural for leaders to give important tasks to women,” she says. We entrust you with projects with a minimal risk rate because we want the woman to show us that she is capable of handling the pressure. She still perceives that, in her sector, being a mother is an obstacle to climbing the ladder.

Valuing attendance at happy hours and corporate networking activities is also a barrier for those with family constraints, she continues.

Ambitious and determined to climb the ladder, she says she is ready to put aside her desire to have children. “I have that desire, but my desire to be a role model for people who are like me is greater and it’s a sacrifice that I said I was ready to make. »

In 10 years, “it is clear that things have evolved, concludes Hélène Lee-Gosselin, but at varying speeds and it is not in all industries, for all trades and for all social levels. But there is certainly a path that is easier to take and that is to demand change”.

A “joyful imbalance”

Being a mother and flourishing in her career is not a utopia either. Farewell, guilt, make way for imbalance!

At the head of a communications agency with offices in Montreal, Toronto and soon in New York, Vicky Boudreau does not recognize herself in the gloomy picture painted by Anne-Marie Slaughter. “It’s really extreme in terms of sacrifice and I don’t think it’s something I would choose,” she said from Toronto, where she travels regularly. She also says she is surprised to see how the situation has evolved in ten years. “For our youngest employees, balance and flexibility is a new reality that companies will face and that may change society in one way or another,” says the leader. management and founding partner of Bicom.

With two daughters aged 4 and 8 and a husband also in business, Vicky Boudreau is among those who are often asked: how do you manage (implied, to have everything)? A question that, she admits, makes her uncomfortable. ” Yes [j’ai tout], sort of, but not everything is perfect. I have people around me who help me, I do what I love, I have two healthy daughters. I am really lucky on many points, ”notes the one who is very aware of her privileges.

“Happy imbalance” are the words she uses to describe the way she juggles the different spheres of her life. Entrepreneurship, with the flexibility it allows, is also a model that is conducive to welcoming this imbalance.

To the women leaders she teaches at the Leadership Institute, she explains the “dimmer theory [gradateurs] » that she developed with a neighbour, an entrepreneur. On his imaginary wall are five dimmers that represent five spheres of his life: family, couple, career, friends and self. “It’s impossible to have the five spheres with the lights on at their highest all the time and it’s an image that puts me at a lot of peace. »

Because she started her business at the age of 24 (she is now 40), it has reached a cruising speed that allows her to work little evenings and weekends.

“That’s what I made as a choice, to accept the imbalance,” says Léa Clermont-Dion, mother of two children and postdoctoral candidate. To also accept that I won’t cook at home, to accept that I won’t meet certain expectations that some people may have of me, as a wife, as a mother. I will not be the mother who will do everything, all the time. I am truly in rebellion against these diktats. »