In his test Aborted, the French essayist Pauline Harmange deplores the persistent taboo surrounding abortion. The right to abortion is undeniable, she says. But can we talk about its consequences without fearing that our words will be taken over by anti-choice activists? A nuanced reflection that should start a good discussion.
Pauline Harmange had struck the imagination with the provocative title of her latest pamphlet, Me men, I hate them, published in 2020. Translated into 20 languages, this essay had been around the world. We interviewed the author at the time.
Harmange returns with a wiser title, but an equally powerful statement. This time, the essayist would like us to talk about abortion. Not the “right to”, undeniable according to her. But of its consequences, of the way each woman experiences it intimately. She would like us to be able to discuss it in the public square without fear that her access will be questioned by those who oppose it. And God knows that this right is fragile, we saw it in the United States with the Supreme Court which annulled the decision Roe v. wade.
“You have to have the right to choose abortion or not, that goes without saying, writes Martine Delvaux who signs the preface toAborted. But we must also have the right to talk about it, to touch or dig, to unfold delicately, with strength and tenderness, everything that this event contains. »
This book is therefore not for followers of binary thinking. To those we say: go your way! Pauline Harmange’s essay is for those who are comfortable with shades and gray areas.
From her own experience, an abortion that took place at home, by abortion pill, in a country – France – where women have a choice, Pauline Harmange talks about the psychological sequelae that followed. of his questions. Also his sadness.
And regrets that there was no space to talk about it, either with the medical profession or with those around him.
“You wanted it, you got it, now you shut your mouth and smile,” she wrote, referring to the message that society sends to women, according to her.
And we have to recognize that women rarely talk about abortion among themselves. Despite its access, this medical act remains something very intimate, even secret. An experience that we talk about in whispers, and that we often keep to ourselves. In the culture space, we are of course thinking of The event by Annie Ernaux, then adapted to the cinema, but there are few examples.
This silence, this embarrassment, even this shame for some women to talk about their abortion prevents a sharing that would be beneficial, believes Pauline Harmange.
Of course, every abortion is different and women each experience it in their own way. Some don’t think about it anymore, others take longer to recover from the experience. There are women who feel immense relief, nothing more. Others a hint of guilt or regret. Some will want to remember it all their life, others will want to forget it forever.
All these experiences are valid and Pauline Harmange never questions them. She just wants them to be heard.
The author would also like the experience of men to be included in the public discussion of abortion. Not for them to influence the women’s decision, no. Never. Harmange would like us to hear the men talk about their experiences and their emotions in connection with the abortion of their partner so that the latter are not alone in bearing the emotional burden of the decision and its consequences. In order, also, that the responsibility is shared.
In writing this book, Pauline Harmange is saying out loud what many women have already said to themselves. She opens the discussion with the aim of freeing women’s voices so that they feel free to express the ambiguous feelings that sometimes accompany the experience of abortion. His attempt is necessary and courageous.
Who is Pauline Harmange?
Writer and feminist activist, Pauline Harmange made a name for herself with her book Me men, I hate them. Published in 2020, this essay denounced systemic misogyny and proposed to respond to it with misandry. By wanting to ban its distribution, a French official from the ministry responsible for equality between women and men instead helped him to become a bestseller.
Extract
“Abortion does not exist. He has no body in the public space. Once in a while, it gets media coverage: Polish women no longer have access to it, Argentinians finally have access to it, abortion is only talked about in the public sphere when it comes to its prohibition or its permission. So there we recall the figures, we let a few experts speak, a few women testify. […] It’s not the feminists’ fault for trying to bring the subject to life, I believe, but it doesn’t work. Of course there are exceptions that confirm the rule, cultural objects that address the issue, but if we have to generalize, it is as follows: abortion does not exist. »
Aborted: an intimate story, a political choice
Pauline Harmange
Ink Castle Editions
107 pages