In 2018, a boy with whom Antoine Charbonneau-Demers was in love revealed to him that the reader was very good at telling the difference between what was true and what was invented in his novels. “You should write without anything,” he told her.
No sooner said than done. For a writer driven as much by a desire to please as by a need to be believed, heard and seen, this injunction to minimalism sounded like a wonderful engine for moving writing forward.
“I flew to Europe for a trip during which I kept a diary about my meetings and my adventures,” says the novelist, seated in front of a coffee. I thought that when I returned, I could send it as is to my publisher, and that it would become my novel. But something stopped me. What followed was four years of questioning and rewriting, and a more fictionalized version thrown in its entirety in the trash. »
In the meantime, Antoine Charbonneau-Demers has set in motion another autobiographical project: Daddy (VLB editor, 2020), a story composed in the urgency of the pandemic in which he recounts his toxic relationship with a banker twenty years his senior. “This book allowed me to observe the consequences of autobiographical writing on myself, on the people around me and on readers. I wanted to talk about this reflection, but it was impossible for me to use the autobiography a second time, because I didn’t want to cause even more harm to those around me. »
To his diary – in which he voluntarily modified the names and places – the writer therefore added a second part, completely fictitious, which features a gallery of absurd characters – a fatal leprechaun, a money tycoon real estate, an antitheatrical actress from Nice or a not-so-cheerful motivational speaker — who reflect, like so many voices juxtaposed with those of the author, on our relationship to romantic fiction, and its ways of filling in the blanks, of articulating bodies and manifesting desires.
“I worked on this second part so that it borrows from the style of Dan Brown, Marc Levy or Guillaume Musso, novelists that I love because we forget that what we read was written, we forget the style . I wanted it to sound like a bad French translation too, the kind of book you buy at Costco. »
This exercise gave rise to Novel without anything, a deeply original book, composed in an attempt by the author to push his nature and artistic impulses as far as possible “In the first part, I did everything to restrain my imagination. And in the second, I opened the valves, but not too much, because I didn’t want it to look like me, and I wanted to camouflage the truth, which is very far from my instinct. »
A reflection for a turning point
For the writer from Rouyn-Noranda, this fourth novel, which serves as a sort of synthesis of his work and pushes to its climax his reflection on the two poles of his literary work — fiction and the writing of reality — marks a turning point visible in the difference between the two books it contains.
“This book is a turning point because it closes a chapter. The first part represents my last attempt to be heard. I refrain from using poetry, images and fantasy, because if it looks fake, no one will believe me. When people ask me where I got my ideas, it discourages me, because I take them out of my very real distress. »
In return, the second section illustrates the time for reflection that was freed up by putting the project on hold, in the middle of its creation. “This hiatus allowed me to understand that the novel is not a tool for speaking, for launching a heartfelt cry or a cry for help. The answer I’m looking for is impossible to give. It’s doomed to failure. I’m more mature, I don’t want to stir up shit anymore. Really, I’m going to leave my health there. I want to take my power back. Maybe in my next book, I won’t be a victim,” he breathes, visibly emotional.
Embrace the sequel
With each of his novels, Antoine Charbonneau-Demers increasingly assumes his place in a literary movement that embraces gay culture and sexuality as it is, without seeking to normalize it or make it more exotic. “Since recently, I have been talking about my need to be seen and heard. This need is linked to my belonging to the gay community, because even there, I feel like I have no place. Everyone talks about it like chosen family, but I don’t have access to it. Over time it became conscious that homosexuality is my subject, it’s one of the reasons why I write. I feel less guilty for being provocative, for showing this truth. It’s a way of telling people what happens when… when they’re not there. »
Towards his family – with whom the complex relationship appears as a specter throughout his work – the author reveals a compassion more present than ever in Novel without anything. “My family are the people I love most in the world. Some of them loved me so much, still love me and are still there for me. That’s also why it’s heartbreaking, because I don’t want to skin them. I don’t blame them, but we need to talk about what happened. I can’t make up stories about dragons, that’s not what I carry within me. Yes, I am ready to sacrifice myself, but I cannot sacrifice those around me, who asked for nothing. If anyone recognizes themselves in my book, I absolutely love it. »
And compassion for himself? Does he manage to get some? “I think it’s starting… And that too marks a turning point. »