His ears are ringing. Jessica* has never been hit so hard in her entire life. However, his date had started well. Paralyzed by fear, she implores her executioner. “Please don’t rape me,” she breathes. “It’s not rape. I’m not raping you,” retorts the attacker. Tale of a horror night.
Ben Maier, a 34-year-old chef, was sentenced to four and a half years in prison at the end of June at the Montreal courthouse. He was found guilty last October of one count of sexual assault causing bodily harm. He appealed the verdict.
Jessica’s story sheds light on the growing online popularity of sex scenes gagging (gag reflex), choking (choking) and slaps (slapping) during sex. A file of The Press also revealed in June that these violent scenes were particularly pushed by the algorithm of online sex giants like Pornhub.
Jessica met Ben Maier in September 2019 during an evening with friends. A week later, their first date (date) is going well. They play billiards, drink alcohol and flirt. In short, it clicks between the two. They continue the evening at Maier’s apartment.
A nightmare
There, they briefly discuss BDSM (acronym meaning bondage, domination, submission, sado-masochism). Ben Maier explains being a “dom” – a dominant – while Jessica believes she is a “sub” – a submissive. But Jessica is very clear: she does not want to have sex. She repeated it all evening.
They start kissing. When Ben Maier gets insistent, Jessica tells him they should choose a ” safeword – a safe word to end a BDSM session. She chooses “iceberg”.
The man insists more and more. Jessica constantly calls him to order. She has a “funny feeling”. Suddenly, everything capsizes. Ben Maier gives him an extremely brutal slap in the face. Then a second. “No,” Jessica repeats. “Iceberg,” she begs. The man chuckles. “No, you can’t say iceberg now,” he replies.
“I’m going to be raped tonight,” Jessica said to herself, paralyzed. She keeps repeating “iceberg”, her safe word. Each time, his executioner laughs and spits in his face. It’s too late, he told her.
His nightmare has only just begun.
With one hand, Ben Maier strangles Jessica. Her grip is so strong that she can no longer speak or even breathe. Tears stream down her face. In desperation, she scratches the hand of her executioner. Nothing works. “You are stupid, little slut. You need a lesson,” Maier says, choking him.
Jessica loses consciousness. When she comes to, she is disoriented and has difficulty speaking. Petrified, she begs him not to rape her.
“But it’s not rape,” he replies.
Ben Maier tries to force his victim to give him oral sex according to a practice – the gagging – which aims to block the breathing of his partner. A popular practice on free porn sites.
At some point, Jessica gets up and starts yelling at him not to touch her. Ben Maier seems in shock. His gaze seems almost “nice”. ” What ? You thought it was rape? “, he says, taken aback.
“Good…” Jessica replies.
But at the same time, the violence resumes.
In the early morning, his ordeal ends. She swears to her attacker that she will not breathe a word that night. “Of course you won’t say anything,” he replies.
Outside, Jessica is disoriented, to the point that she thinks she is in Las Vegas. However, she never went there. At the hospital, there are injuries to his neck and legs.
“Particularly degrading” behavior
Judge Suzanne Costom hailed the “strength” of Jessica, who gave “sincere” and “detailed” testimony at trial. On the contrary, the judge did not believe Ben Maier’s account. The latter described an extremely watered down version of his evening.
British Columbia native Ben Maier hoped to get away with a very lenient sentence of two years less a day in house jail, along with community service. The Crown prosecutor, Mr.e Jérôme Laflamme, demanded five years in penitentiary.
PHOTO ALAIN ROBERGE, LA PRESSE ARCHIVES
Me Jérôme Laflamme, Crown Attorney
“The accused’s behavior was particularly degrading. His moral culpability is high,” concluded the judge, imposing a sentence of four and a half years in prison.
Jessica’s ordeal did not end in September 2019. It has been going on for four years.
At night, Jessica dreams that she is strangled. Sometimes she stays up for 40 hours to avoid this nightmare. Unable to concentrate and plagued by panic attacks, she dropped out of school. Often she is so scared that she can’t get out of her house. Jessica had to change province to turn the page.
“We robbed him of his sense of security”, summarizes the judge.
* Fictitious name to protect his identity