“I didn’t think I was strong enough to get out” of addiction

Every day, a personality invites itself into the world of Élodie Suigo. Monday February 19, 2024: British artist Peter Doherty. He has just published his memoirs and a documentary broadcast Monday on Canal+, “Stranger in My Own Skin”, which retraces his journey during his detoxification treatment.

Peter Doherty is an artist apart, instinctive, fragile. In 1997, he founded the punk rock group The Libertines with Carl Barât, but his addiction to hard drugs separated him from them. Over time, he fell into an unwavering addiction, but his significant other and those around him convinced him to enter rehab. What he did. It happened in Thailand. The documentary by his partner Katia de Vidas, Stranger in My Own Skin broadcast on Canal+ tells the story of this obstacle course he went through. LBritish author, composer and performer has just published his memoirs: A charming boy, published by Cherche-Midi.

franceinfo: How did you experience the broadcast of Stranger in My Own Skin, which retraces ten years of your life?

Peter Doherty: The first time I saw this documentary, I said to myself that it wasn’t very pleasant for me. I’m not saying that others shouldn’t have the same experience as me because I’m here to promote this documentary, but from a personal point of view, it was a little bit too empowering. There was too much stimulation for me.

Are you proud to have gotten through it? This documentary is first and foremost a film which is based on hope and the possibility of getting through it.

Addiction is a very complicated thing. In fact, we keep deceiving ourselves. And when you deceive yourself, the most accomplished form of that is not knowing when you are wrong. We don’t see ourselves wasting our lives.

“I didn’t think I would be strong enough to get through it, but it’s a long-term battle.”

Peter Doherty

at franceinfo

Proud, yes of course. It’s hard to describe what it feels like. There is suffering, imbalances.

You lived in a military barracks with barbed wire. You were locked away from reality. You were not allowed to say that your father was a soldier. It is a suffering, ultimately, which is a bit the starting point of this desire to escape from this lack of reality.

For a few years, maybe until the age of 13, I would say that I was disciplined, obedient, but I only knew this life and I was quite obsessed with books, poetry in particular. As I got older, I had to turn inward because I needed to be aware of the world around me and I couldn’t access it. I couldn’t live a normal life. But when you have a love of music or literature, no matter where you are, the sea will eventually find you.

I would like us to talk about this addiction because what this documentary also shows is to what extent addiction is something special. We don’t understand, we don’t have the time to finally understand that we are going to become addicted. That’s also what this documentary is about, is that you absolutely shouldn’t touch it?

This is the key message. It’s like throwing yourself headlong into the unknown. So that, in itself, is exciting! But my obsession was born before I even knew heroin. Having heroin is really good because sometimes it’s still difficult to get what you want. Having it in your pocket without having to use it is sometimes exciting.

You say that the dreams that these drugs gave you often became nightmares and that you must not fall.

When I had a fever as a child, I had hallucinations. It was terrifying, but very interesting. Every now and then I wanted to get sick so I could have these hallucinations.

“I have not lost this interest in hallucinations, this need to withdraw from myself and experience incredible journeys outside the body.”

Peter Doherty

at franceinfo

To finish, I would like us to talk about the collaboration with Frédéric Lo because we also see a little bit of it in this documentary. We feel that it is a passage in your life.

At the time of our meeting, I had been clean for a very, very short time. In reality, I didn’t want to do that because I was in a state of fatigue. And Fred showed up one day with his guitar and then we said to ourselves: “Come on, let’s make some songs“. He played me a melody and we made an album. It was very simple, it was natural, it flowed naturally. Great pleasure. I loved it. And besides, we have new songs to come like The Ballad of Rosa Luxembourg which is going to happen, melodic, a very particular atmosphere, something a bit like Doherty!

Watch this interview on video: