Fairy tales often depict stepmothers as cruel and envious figures, reinforcing negative stereotypes that persist today. Journalist Bénédicte Gilles explores this in her podcast, highlighting how stories like Snow White and Cinderella contribute to the stigma surrounding stepmothers. Historical context reveals that high remarriage rates led to the prevalence of these characters, while psychoanalysts and journalists discuss the ongoing rivalry and challenges stepmothers face in blended families, reflecting a legacy of female rivalry and societal perceptions.
‘Mirror, mirror, who is the fairest among us?’ queries the Queen in Snow White, a classic tale by the Brothers Grimm published in 1812. In a contrasting narrative, Madame de Trémaine summons Cinderella for yet another chore in Charles Perrault’s version from 1697. These tales often depict stepmothers as envious and harsh, perpetuating a negative stereotype that still lingers today. Journalist Bénédicte Gilles, in her podcast Step-Mother or Good Fairy featured on Le Monde, asserts that ‘these stories have birthed the quintessential stepmother character’. But what are the actual distinctions between a stepmother and a step-mother?
Step-Mother: A Term Loaded with Negativity
The word ‘stepmother’, which has roots in ancient history, has consistently been associated with a bad reputation, particularly in literary works. La Bruyère, in his 1688 piece Les Caractères, noted, ‘What a stepmother loves least in this world are her husband’s children’. Similarly, Antoine Furetière, a poet from the 17th century, defined it in his Universal Dictionary as ‘a woman of a second marriage who mistreats the offspring of a prior union to favor her own’.
In today’s context, where around 10% of children are part of blended families, including 7% living with one parent and a stepparent (Insee, 2023), the stigma surrounding the term stepmother remains prevalent. The Littré dictionary denotes it as derogatory, explaining it as ‘a stepmother concerning the children of another marriage’. Conversely, ‘stepmother’ is considered more neutral and respectful. The Larousse dictionary describes it as ‘a partner of one parent, regarding children from a different marriage or union’.
The Legacy of Fairy Tales
Bénédicte Gilles argues that fairy tales have consistently cast stepmothers as villains, often portrayed as Machiavellian figures. Characters like Cinderella, who endures servitude, and Snow White, who faces multiple assassination attempts, are just a few examples of the harm inflicted by their stepmothers. Additionally, Hansel and Gretel, along with Little Thumb and his siblings, suffer abandonment in the woods, largely due to their stepmother’s actions. In Rapunzel, penned by Grimm, Mother Gothel is a stepmother determined to maintain her youth at any cost.
Historian Sylvie Perrier notes in Ça m’intéresse that the prevalence of the stepmother character in these tales can be traced back to the demographic realities of the time. During France’s Ancien Régime, high mortality rates meant that more than a quarter of marriages were remarriages. Fathers frequently remarried shortly after their wives’ deaths, often to younger, single, and childless women.
The Enduring Stigma
Why does the negative perception of stepmothers persist? Dominique Devedeux, a psychoanalyst and author of Help, I’m a Stepmother, provides insight: the stepmother ‘is not the legitimate mother; she has usurped her place, taking the father from his family. She embodies the role of the Thief, the Intruder. The child often finds themselves in a loyalty conflict, which typically leads them to side with their mother against the stepmother’, she explains in ELLE.
Fiona Schmidt, a journalist and author of How Not to Become a Stepmother – A Feminist Guide to Blended Families, echoes this sentiment. In the Belgian edition of Marie Claire, she highlights the inherent rivalry between a stepdaughter and her father’s new partner. The concept of the stepmother is steeped in a ‘(…) sexist legacy rooted in female rivalry’. She also emphasizes the challenges stepmothers encounter in establishing their role with their stepchildren, stating they must navigate a delicate balance: ‘neither too friendly, nor too distant, nor too rigid’.