Ségolène: As we were able to discover in the story of Nicolas Véros, one can be a chef butcher in the 4th generation and manage the family business masterfully.
Eveline: transgenerational legacies are numerous, and they shape us!
Ségolène: so wait Eveline, what do you mean by transgenerational heritage?
Eveline: a transgenerational heritage is made up of memories that span time and are transmitted from generation to generation. This often involves behaviors that forge us unconsciously and that we do not know how to question.
This heritage is made up of positive transmission: values, lifestyles, beliefs but sometimes also of a more painful dimension which means that you will reproduce, without knowing it, behaviors and cause events that have occurred in previous generations. of your family.
It’s quite incredible but we see that people who rape their own children have mostly been raped by their parents and this is perhaps the most terrible example. What guides them is a kind of loyalty to their executioners. As if to show that they are part of their tribe. The desire to belong is stronger than suffering. Perhaps they are also forgiving by replicating the behavior they know. For a long time, single mothers engendered single mothers or more anecdotal ones, but nevertheless marking a severe education can provoke strong rebellions and yet, when they become adults, these people will reproduce the same principles that made them suffer. Our way of feeding ourselves, of communicating, of granting our trust… are very visceral domains which are largely forged during our childhood by the influence of our experiences.
Ségolène: But it’s awful! Are we all programmed?
Eveline: Mostly yes.
Ségolène: So how to react, how to get out of this grip?
Eveline: Be careful, as I said at the beginning of this column, the majority of our transmitted programs have value and help us more than they handicap us.
Ségolène: Ok, but then how do you separate things? How do you know how to tell the good ones from the bad ones?
Eveline: The main indicator is suffering. If your behaviors are modeled on those of your parents but you do not harm anyone including yourself in principle nothing is to change. On the other hand, if you feel weight, difficulties that have links with your history or that painful memories prevent you from living normally and happily, then you can consult a psychogenealogist or a transgenerational psychoanalyst. Indeed getting rid of this kind of burdens goes through the word. Memories, by being verbalized, evacuate the associated blocking emotions and thus free you from your negative psychological heritage.
Ségolène: Ah, so we can get by!
Eva: Yes absolutely. There are many methods.