Posted at 8:00 a.m.
Louise is a grandmother of a 3 year old child. She is concerned that her grandson is showing signs of anxiety, in addition to showing signs of aggression. Nothing serious, she points out, but her instinct tells her that he is much more sensitive than the majority of children. She wrote to us because she wonders if he is too young to consult a psychologist – for prevention or simply to have “stuff” to help him – whereas, according to her, it is only a question of a print.
“I give a lot of conferences and, when people ask me this question, I always answer that it’s never too early or too late to consult”, replies psychologist Nadia Gagnier right away. “The worst that will happen is that the person we consult will say that it is not really a problem yet. But the parent will still receive reassuring information on the attitude to adopt in the face of the phenomenon that worries him in his child. »
PHOTO MARCO CAMPANOZZI, THE PRESS
Nadia Gagnier, psychologist
From 2 to 4 years old, aggression can be normal, in his opinion, since the child, whose brain has not yet reached the maturity necessary to inhibit his aggressive reactions, is still “learning different control strategies emotional”. “At 3 years old, he is in the middle of this period; this is perhaps what explains its great reactivity. »
In some cases, however, anxious or aggressive reactions may indeed be symptoms of a disorder that should be detected as soon as possible. The professional consulted will not necessarily issue an official diagnosis at this age, but based on his hypothesis, he will allow the child to have a follow-up on the evolution of the symptoms, specifies the psychologist.
It’s not wrong to think that it might be worth better assessing the situation, to know if it’s something that is just related to a more sensitive temperament – but not necessarily worrying – or if we are right to be concerned.
Nadia Gagnier, psychologist
She recommends that parents who have questions, but do not yet feel ready to speak to a professional, first obtain information from reliable sources, such as Naître et grandi or Alloprof Parents, for the oldest. You can also talk to your doctor or the child’s educator, since CPEs and daycare centers have access to workers who can do on-site observation.
strategies for parents
But once the decision has been made to consult a psychologist, how can the professional help a young child who has not yet acquired the ability to express himself? Especially since a child will often tend to freeze in a psychologist’s office and will not show the behaviors deemed worrying, notes Nadia Gagnier.
As part of her practice, the psychologist says that parents have already provided her with video clips of situations that have occurred at home and which have allowed her to see the child in its natural context. There are also psychologists and psychoeducators who do home visits or play therapy, she adds; parents can also contact a coach parental, after making sure that he is part of a professional order.
“When the child is very young, it is not he who is in psychotherapy; we will assess the entire family situation, both the child’s behavior and the parents’ interventions,” says Nadia Gagnier, because parents can sometimes, very involuntarily, have caused or maintain a difficulty that they do not would not have caused.
“It’s not that the parents are in therapy; I help them to better help their child. […] When you feel like you’ve tried lots of solutions and you feel a little overwhelmed, I think for the well-being of the child, it’s good to seek help. »
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Are you a parent or grandparent of a preschooler and you want to tell us about a question that concerns you? Write to our journalist, we will try to answer it with the help of an expert.