I want to talk to you about love and friendships.
Daniel Vigneau is 65 years old. He is a Madelinot born in Verdun at the time when the Leblancs and the Cormiers arrived on Wellington Street and crowded into housing to form a tight-knit community.
Like many others before him, Daniel’s father had left the Islands because jobs, like fish, were scarce. After seven years of work in different factories, he returned home, back to the sea with his wife and three children.
Two more will be born on the Islands to complete the family.
Young Daniel is bored at school.
“In those days, we did what we wanted. Dad had his fishing boat and he took me with him. But I had a big accident at work, almost crippling me. So I went back to study. »
He worked in Chandler, at the University of Moncton, at UQTR and finally ended up, thanks to a government program, in Vanuatu, between Fiji and the Solomon Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, to teach local people. how to fish!
“In the evening, you look at the volcanoes and you discover kava, a plant that calms you, that helps you sleep, that gives you a buzz! »
PHOTO PROVIDED BY THE FAMILY
Daniel Vigneau
The adventure lasts two years. Back home, he navigates between different seafood wholesalers to dock at the Poissonnerie NDG. Slowly, he falls in love with a client, Louise, the woman of his life. Together, they opened Le Poisson Volant, chemin Saint-Jean, in La Prairie, which would become the benchmark on the South Shore.
In 2020, Louise and Daniel decide to sell because they are tired, worn out and it is time to reunite with family in the Islands.
But last fall, Daniel received a blow: stomach cancer with metastases to the periphery. Nothing to do except enjoy the time that remains. Radiotherapy treatments in Quebec, chemotherapy treatments in the Islands.
“I stopped everything. It’s too hard. Being sick as a dog to live two more months. When I’m no longer able to go to the bathroom on my own, I’m going to stop everything. »
And the health system in the Islands?
“I know there is a lack of staff and nurses, but I have nothing to complain about. Here, everyone knows each other, everyone is nice. Even my doctor comes to visit me. »
Daniel and Louise got married in June. They are in love and lucid. Their house is overflowing with “visitors”, Daniel’s son, Marc-André, his two granddaughters, brothers, sisters, friends. The best and most natural treatment.
Daniel is not zen. He feels like a weakened boxer. Love and friendship give it an extra round. On August 19, he texted me to tell me that he had made a big decision: he requested medical assistance in dying. It will be Saturday August 31 at 10 a.m.
How do we wait for death to come on a specific date and time? How does he manage to be so calm? Fear? Anxiety? Regret? I almost wanted to say to him: Don’t you want to be taken by surprise? I didn’t understand anything.
Daniel was regaining control of his life. Cancer dictated its agenda and it was its turn to tell cancer: now it’s me who decides. I share with you Louise’s words:
“On the morning of the 31st,
A morning of warmth and love.
We took turns showing him our love.
We have everything ready for a perfect start.
Music, images, testimonies, meditation with friends on the beach.
He left calmly and slowly.
I heard him whisper, before falling into a deep sleep:
“I would take three or four more years.”
My beautiful love, a man with a sensitive heart, a man in need of love and friendship,
always, always every day.
I held onto him until the end.
I will always love him!
His absence will be difficult… but I keep within me a wonderful album of memories.
Assisted dying is ultimately very wonderful.
I was able to accompany Daniel for his vows, and his last journey.
He received a lot of love.
I was able to experience part of my mourning, before his departure.
The last few days have been heartbreaking, but our words comforting.
He received expressions of love every day.
He wanted to have time to talk to those he loves.
He was brave, courageous, wonderful, equal to his sincere heart.
He said:
“I won’t win, but his nose will bleed and it’s me who decides!”
It allowed us to accept the inevitable. »
Daniel regained his freedom to choose where, when and how he wanted to end the fight. There are other options such as palliative care. But the final decision must be yours.
An end of life without pressure, without judgment.