Mothers, fathers, parents 1 and parents 2, no more wrapping your children in bubble wrap when they leave the house!
After 20 years spent analyzing the impacts of the game of hide and seek on the psychological and physiological development of children, the Canadian Pediatric Society has just issued new guidelines concerning the games that your cherubs can now play!
Young children are now allowed to climb trees!
To bicker!
To hide behind bushes!
To ride your bike fast!
And playing King of the Mountain in winter!
Yes, I know: these are dangerous games! Aggressive! Even daredevil, jaw-dropping and violent!
But, according to experts who looked into the issue with microscopes, these perilous and highly risky activities would be beneficial for young people!
GOODBYE WOKES!
After 20 years of raising little rabbits in sanitized basements, parents will be able to – finally! – take their children out of their cozy wadded blanket to confront them… with real life!
That is to say at risk!
Risk of getting hurt! To fall off their bike! To scratch your knees! To tumble down a mountain of snow! To lose a battle!
Message to employers in Quebec: be patient, in 20 years, you will be able to criticize your young employees without them curling up in a corner and crying their eyes out!
Thanks to these new guidelines from Canadian pediatricians, they will finally have a hard rind, a shell!
They will be able to accept criticism!
- Listen to the interview with Mélanie Laviolette, president of the Federation of Parents’ Committees, on Richard Martineau’s microphone via QUB :
They will no longer collapse at the slightest reproach or the slightest sideways glance!
Hallelujah! Thanks to John XXIII for favors obtained!
It’s the wokes who must have flipped when they read this (bad) news…
Because it marks the end of their movement!
If young people start to toughen up, we will no longer need to remove Tintin and Lucky Luke from library shelves to protect them!
They will be able to read Asterix without bawling!
They will even – who knows? – develop… a sense of humor! Grasp the second degree!
Start sucking!
You imagine?
No more need to provide ambulances in front of the rooms where Guy Nantel performs, in order to care for the hyper-sensitive little rabbits!
“Marie Claire? Quick, get a stretcher ready, there’s a young girl who doesn’t feel well because she just heard a joke about drag queens!”
HAVE YOU SEEN RICHARD?
I don’t want to sound old, but… do you know what my friends and I did when we were young?
We made soap boxes.
Small wooden carts with bicycle wheels.
Photo Adobe Stock
We would sit in it and slide down slopes at lightning speed.
We also made crossbows with a wooden board, a clothes pin and an elastic band.
And on Saturday morning, we’d hop on our bike with a banana seat and Brando grips and ride the camp until supper time. No cell phone.
When my mother wanted to know where I was, she called Madame Tremblay. Who called Madame Villeneuve. Who called Madame Gélinas. Who said to him: “Ah, he’s with the little neighbor playing doctor below the gallery! »
It was a good time.
We laughed at each other, we ate mud.
And as Beau Dommage sang to the words of Pierre Huet, we spent three hours in an igloo.
That we had, two or three guys, at Guy Rondoux’s place.
DISTRUST REIGNS
We have lost count of the number of coaches accused of assaulting young athletes. Result: we become paranoid.
Does this coach who gives my son a hug to console him for his poor performance have bad intentions or is he just being caring?
In schools, teachers who have nothing to reproach themselves now refuse to receive students in their office for fear of being wrongly accused of misconduct or of being looked at askance by their colleagues.
Result: young people have less and less opportunity to confide in authority figures.
Damage…
THE NORTHVOLT DILEMMA
Should we allow a company that will help fight pollution… to threaten biodiversity?
This is the question that arises with Northvolt.
On the one hand, this electric battery component factory will allow us to reduce our CO2 emissions. On the other, its construction will destroy wetlands.
So what do we do? Between two evils, do we choose the lesser?
In QUB, former Minister of the Environment Daniel Breton told me that in his opinion, the government is wrong to allow Northvolt to evade the BAPE process.
Because this only feeds the cynicism of the population.
It’s not easy to be green in 2024…
LEAST WORST
In the United States, left-wing activists will not vote so much for Biden as against Trump.
In Canada, left-wing activists will not vote so much for Trudeau as against Poilievre.
More and more, people are voting “strategically.”
Do you remember the days when we voted for the best candidate and not the least worst?
To paraphrase Aznavour, I’m talking to you about a time that those under 20 (if not 40 or 50) cannot know…