I don’t know about you, but I can’t cut onions without crying my life.
Today I’m making my big spag sauce. A comforting dish at the start of winter. It smells good and we should have it for a while. A break from a day of major cleaning in my eldest’s room.
“My broken satchels from school?” At recycling, I won’t need it anymore… I hope, ha ha! »
Archaeologist’s secrets in the back of the wardrobe, covered with an inch of dust, in the trash! The favorite sweater with a large shark on the front bearing the slogan ” Make the ocean a better place », in the rag.
“It’s all full of holes and it makes me more anyway. »
In a few days, my big man is leaving the family nest with his child’s chest of drawers and I’m so happy for him…
“Oh, my little brown bear! That, I keep on the other hand. Can you put it in my keepsake box in the basement please?
– Yes, yes, of course my big, it will make me happy!
– Great, thank you mom! »
It reminds me of how I felt 30 years ago, when I was in his situation, heart pumping, ready to live my adult life.
A few days ago, when I told my dad that my eldest was getting ready to leave in early December, he said with wet eyes, “Oh, it’s a tough time for parents , that…
– Yeah… ”
I now understand how happy they were when I went to visit them in Quebec for a long weekend. And all the melancholy that I guessed rising in them, behind their too big smiles, when I waved to them, carefree, backing into the driveway to take Highway 20 back to Montreal. All the love in the world as a traveling companion on the way back, when the trunk of my car was overflowing with little goodies, black plastic bags in which were piled my freshly washed clothes, tenderly folded and my cooler filled with sauce to spa…
At the dawn of his departure, I wonder if I have savored enough these last 20 years spent with him.
I can’t believe how quickly they flew by, intermingled in an incessant whirlwind of laundry, meals, housework, homework, sores, birthdays, taxis, hot dog dinners to celebrate the back to school, end of classes… and lunches made with love!
So many moments when we tick off tasks on the list of our mental tasks, without really stopping. Moments when life finally passes.
The truth behind all this, for me, is that I live with real grief at the impossibility of continuing to be around this wonderful human being on a daily basis.
It is another pivotal stage in a woman’s life, much like the birth of a child. It’s beautiful and moving at the same time.
There will be a lot of onions in my recipe this time around…
“Wave us a sign once in a while to let us know that everything is fine, ok? The spaghetti sauce is on its way. Don’t hesitate to come and get it. »