On this Sunday in March, are you going to the sugar shack? Devour sausages in maple syrup, beans in maple syrup, pancakes in maple syrup, eggs cooked in maple syrup and maple taffy on snow or mud ? Dessert with that?
Yum ! Yum ! On the way back, it will snore. Except for children, who will have an attention deficit as monstrous as Quebec’s budget deficit. Only one activity on the evening’s program: digesting.
It’s not just your blood sugar level that will rise. Your guilt rate, too. Did you do the right thing by stuffing yourself like this? Is it good for your health? Are your arteries as clogged as those in Montreal? There will be no shortage of Rodin thinkers on the toilet seat.
In the last century, people went to the cabin, innocently, with a clear conscience. It was a healthy meal. Sausages, bines, ham, it’s all good. It was the trappers’ diet. Maple syrup was considered, like other syrups, a toning medicine. Going to the cabin was like taking a cure. Reviving.
In 2024, our vision of the sugar shack has changed. In the term “sugar shack”, there is the word “sugar”, and sugar is the new incarnation of evil. Sugar is the new tobacco.
Sugar is held responsible for tooth decay, type 2 diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease, kidney failure, fibrosis, cirrhosis, encephalitis, Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer’s disease, colon cancer, pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, breast cancer, aging skin, loss of concentration and loss of erections. Other than that, things are going well. To think that for decades, the only thing sugar was criticized for was being bad for your teeth. Now it is the authorities who have a grudge against sugar.
Soon, Public Health will declare war on sugar, and our visits to maple groves will never be the same again. There will be warnings everywhere. On the menu, next to the words “crisse ears”, there will be a photo of a crisse pancreas. Prices will be exorbitant. It is with the sugar tax that the government will pay for the new roof of the Olympic Stadium. Not the one that isn’t built yet. The one who will replace the one who is neither built nor collapsed yet.
The new rules will surely be imposed on the cabins gradually. Initially, each establishment must have a non-sugar section. Then, in just a few years, the entire interior will become non-sweet. We will be allowed to eat our maple sugar 9 meters from the barn.
The name sugar shack will be called into question. It will become as uninviting as a cigarette shack. The owners’ association will have to choose between syrup shack, fart shack, natural yogurt shack, tofu shack, aspartame shack… The question is likely to raise a lot of debate.
People with a sweet tooth – I am one – our freedom is coming to an end. Soon the candies will be sold on the black market. It will be better to smoke a joint than to smoke Popeye cigarettes. On Halloween we will give vegetables, on Valentine’s Day we will give vegetables, on Easter we will give vegetables. We’ll be greener than St. Patrick’s Day. The dessert stage during a meal will be canceled, we will jump directly to the herbal tea.
Did I take you away or make you want to go to the sugar shack? Given, I would believe. We must hurry to find the sugar shack while it is still like the good old days.
Especially since of all the sugars in this world, maple syrup is the least harmful. We even learned last week that maple syrup is good for your health. It would reduce the harmful effects of a diet rich in fat and sugar.
Forget the disaster scenario that I have just outlined for you, sugar shacks may be set to multiply. It will no longer be a seasonal business, we will gorge ourselves on syrup all year round. The maples will not be able to flow more often, so more will have to be planted.
Imagine, if the whole world replaced refined sugar with our maple syrup. We’re going to get rich. We believed that the future of Quebec lay in electric batteries, well no! The future of Quebec depends on the good old maple syrup can! A maple spring, and the debt of 11 billion is settled.
That’s what’s good about science, there’s always a study that suits us more than the others.
Run to the sugar shack to mitigate the harm of a diet high in fat and sugar. It may seem surprising. Does syrup on bacon cut the fat that much? It would take guinea pigs to find out. Many of us will volunteer.
Good cabin! And be less guilty than your maple ham.