Compared to 2021, the association receives 500,000 more calls per year. An effect of the pandemic, which has exacerbated the feeling of loneliness and suicidal tendencies, particularly among young people. To cope, SOS friendship needs more volunteers. For what missions? Response with the North manager.
They are attentive ears to the torments of life. SOS friendship listeners receive calls from people in distress throughout the year. A comfort that is all the more precious during the end-of-year holiday period, conducive to the feeling of solitude.
Since the Covid 19 crisis, the association has observed an increase in the number of callers (+14% compared to last year). “An unprecedented figure”, she alerts. Faced with this phenomenon, there is a shortage of volunteers to answer all the phone calls. Out of 3 incoming calls, only one is answered.
This is why at the dawn of Christmas, SOS friendship is launching a national appeal to strengthen its ranks. In the Nord and Pas-de-Calais, there are two listening sites in Lille and Arras, with around fifty volunteers. How to become a listener, for what missions? Interview with Baudoin, head of the association in the region.
What profile do you need to have to be a listener?
There is no identikit, we listen first with the heart. It is the natural desire to listen to others that is essential. We will ensure that anyone interested can do so in good conditions for themselves.
“To become a listener, it is important to have life experience, from a professional, marital or even emotional point of view.”
Baudoin, SOS friendship manager in the North
However, you don’t have to be too young to be a good listener. It is important to have life experience, from a professional, marital or even emotional point of view. You have to be sufficiently aware of your own difficulties and inner tensions. It is not neutral to be a volunteer at SOS friendship, it is the result of a personal approach and story.
What is the volunteer’s mission?
First, the volunteer will have to complete 3 months of training. Then, if he is interested, he undertakes to hold a listening post for approximately 16 hours per month (4 sessions of 4 hours per month). Which is not an insurmountable burden.
“For the volunteer it is also a real satisfaction when at the end of a call, the person says to us: “thank you, I feel better, this call did me good”.”
Baudoin, SOS friendship manager in the North
Then, for the volunteer it is also a real satisfaction when at the end of a call, the person tells us: “thank you, I feel better, this call did me good”. Personally, it’s been eight years since I started and I still enjoy and want to do it.
How can we not be too affected by the misfortune of the callers?
Every three weeks, a group meeting is held with a psychologist, during which everyone discusses the difficulties they may have had, the complicated calls they have had. In order to put words to feelings.
Do you ever find yourself unable to find the right words to help a caller?
This happens to us, we must be humble. We don’t want to have the answer to everything. It’s important to accept a form of helplessness.
Then, when the difficulties are too great, we can respectfully suggest that the caller consult a professional.
“We are particularly vigilant to people who tell us about a clearly suicidal plan, with the means and organization imagined.”
Baudoin, SOS friendship manager in the North
Why do people call?
Are there multiple reasons? There are already issues around loneliness, isolation and social exclusion. There are also problems arising from the professional environment such as burn-out. But also the anxieties, which we try to relieve. Then, suicide…
What to do when the caller mentions a suicidal plan?
Suicide prevention is one of our priority missions and we work for this in conjunction with the specialized network 3114. The word “suicide” can be scary, but it’s important to be able to use it and talk about it. It can provide relief.
We are particularly vigilant to people who tell us about a clearly suicidal plan, with the means and organization imagined.
Has Covid worsened the feeling of loneliness?
Yes, a certain number of people have curled up a little more on themselves with the pandemic. People also find themselves in economic difficulty after losing their jobs. New recipients of social assistance experience a form of shame and may tend to withdraw, not talk about it, or even refuse this assistance…
More and more adolescents and young people are calling us, particularly with suicidal issues.”
Baudoin, SOS friendships manager in the North
I am not a sociologist, but I also have the impression that the polarization of ideas and debates, for example around vaccination, has created tensions among people. Some people fear opening up to others. There is this need to find serenity in social relationships.
Young people are asking you more and more too?
Yes, we have more and more teenagers and young people calling us. With, in particular, suicidal problems. If the origin of these concerns is multifactorial, we can mention the sometimes difficult relationships with the family, when for example the parents find themselves in financial difficulty. Difficult ends of the month are not good for maintaining a peaceful climate within the family.
There are also problems at school. Young people call us to discuss the case of friends who have been harassed. And if they talk about a friend to gain emotional perspective, it could be themselves. They express real suffering, which depresses, and can make the future bleak.