Holiday family gatherings aren’t fun for everyone. For some people, these annual meetings represent awkward and sometimes destabilizing obligatory events.
Audrey, in her early thirties, has always evolved in a house open to others. “When I was a child, there were constantly friends of my parents at home, it was a bit of their refuge. My parents had me very young, and in their gang they were the first to have a house and a child, when they were in their early twenties. It was a festive, joyful and friendly atmosphere. There was always a friend or friend squatting at home, we were rarely alone with the family.
Although she was quite shy, Audrey was of a sociable nature and comfortable with adults. “The family was also very present. My mother spoke to my grandmother almost every day, my uncles regularly passed by the house. We also had the traditional meal at my grandparents’, almost every Sunday. I grew up in a tight-knit family, as they say, plus a tight-knit group of friends.”
However, as soon as she had the chance, Audrey began to stop going to dinner parties with the grandparents and, at home, she preferred to eat alone in her room, putting her independence on the back of adolescence. . “My parents were fine with the idea, and since they were with their friends, I don’t think they cared too much about me. For my part, I developed a desire for solitude. I wanted peace and quiet, maybe I also suffered from not having my parents to myself.
At the age of 17, Audrey chose to go to a CEGEP on the other side of the province. “I could have stayed in Montreal, but I preferred to go to the ATM, in Jonquière. It suited me to be away from my parents, to no longer have to put up with dinners with family or friends, and to have peace. I wanted to cut the umbilical cord, make a living, and even though I always stayed close to my parents, I didn’t want any more obligations.”
Only the Christmas supper remained rooted in his habits. “Only seeing the extended family once a year, I’m still happy to spend some time with them, but I always make sure it doesn’t last for hours.”
In a relationship for a few years with Sophie, Audrey confides that she has the same difficult relationship when she has to attend dinners with her girlfriend’s family. “Going to eat with my in-laws in small groups is fine with me, but when it comes to large family reunions, I am uncomfortable. It seems that the number impresses me and almost makes me panic, I don’t know how to act, what to say, who to talk to…”
How to survive family reunions?
For family Christmas and New Year’s parties to pass in joy and fun, even if this prospect makes you uncomfortable, it is necessary to prepare mentally. The priority is to respect your emotions, without blaming others. Focus on those who are happy to see you, and try to imitate them. Before the evening, do some introspection by trying to understand what really bothers you in these meetings, and try to find a solution. Finally, set a limit in your head and leave the party before you reach it.