“Our body is here, our mind is there”

This time, Ola didn’t have to open all the kitchen cupboards to get her hands on the mugs she was looking for. “I’m starting to spot where the things are stored”, smiled the Ukrainian, brown hair falling to the middle of the back. “Stressed” and “tired”, this mother ended up “to land” on February 26, in Bieniewice, a town of 1,300 inhabitants west of Warsaw (Poland). With her, her sister-in-law Oxana and their three young children: Matviy, 1 year and four months; Oleksander, 1 year and 10 months; Maksym, 5 years old. Neither of them would ever have pushed open the front door of this two-storey building. “without Putin and his terrible war”.

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The house was lent to them by a solidarity network. And Kamil, the host of the place, made room to welcome them “as best as possible after all the absolutely terrifying things they’ve been through.” Oksana and Ola left Lviv, the big city in western Ukraine, as soon as the first sirens woke them up and the first Russian army bombs hit the ground. “My brother-in-law, who is a soldier, told us to leave, Ola remembers. We didn’t try to understand, we took our papers and left.” They then put the bare minimum in the trunk of their Ssangyong Kyron SUV: nappies for the little ones, a little food, a little water, a little money (the equivalent of 200 euros), and head for the border. . After twelve hours of waiting in the passenger compartment of the car, bumper to bumper for 30 kilometers, here they are finally on the other side, “sheltered”at the Polish neighbor.

They all sleep in the largest bedroom, upstairs, on the far left after the stairs. Oh and Matviy share the same bed, Oksana and Oleksander are in another, Maksym has his all to himself. They have their own set of keys and can come and go as they please. EllThey practically unpacked everything they had packed in a hurry and put the coats on hangers. They share household chores, machines, take turns cooking, sometimes local, sometimes Ukrainian. And this afternoon, it’s the turn of Oksana, 30, to get into the kitchen.

For the rest, nothing really belongs to them. The two strollers at the entrance? A donation. The space heater in front of the door? Another donation. The baby chair in the living room? Too. Toys for children? All the same. There is even extra: the two mothers have put things too big for their babies in a shopping bag, like this pair of shoes in size 32 or 33 which could be useful for one of the 281,000 Ukrainians who have found exile. in Poland (as of March 1), according to the point made by the United Nations Refugee Agency (UNHCR).

To forget “those horrors”, and move on too, even if she doesn’t know if she is “there for two weeks, two months, or more”Oksana has a plan. “JI will try to find a job here. Cleaning other people’s homes, gardening… I’ve already spotted an association that could help me”, says the one who usually manages a jewelry store. After all, she manages “pretty good” in Polish.

“It’s like relearning to live elsewhere”, she wants to convince herself. So when the weather is nice, the little group takes a walk around the block. At noon sharp, the three children spin off to a siesta and please be silent until 1 p.m. In the morning, and even in the afternoon, and even sometimes in the evening, Vasil and Yvan, their husbands, hang out on Messenger, Facebook’s chat application. The two men, who are over 18 but under 60, remained in the country to respond to the “general mobilization” decreed by theUkrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in order to fight against the Russian invasion.

Suddenly, a bell rang. Oksana throws herself on her phone, a face appears. It’s Vasil, the mistress’s gentleman. Here he is walking, weapon in hand, during a patrol with his comrades Territorial Defence, a branch of the Ukrainian army made up of volunteers, responsible for defending cities. “It’s a gun that is used to kill animals normally, balance, deep voice, the one who is normally a bartender. And to confront Russian soldiers, you can only use a weapon that is used to kill animals.” Then the conversation turns to something else entirely:

“How are you, kids?

– How are you…

– What are they doing ?

– They’re playing there.”

The children… “We spare them as much as possibleOksana insists, double-checking that it’s a cartoon that her two little ones are watching, lying on the living room carpet. When we talk about the images we have just seen on TV, it is between adults. The two mums turn on the news channels after making sure they are alone. But sometimes, they are the ones who crack and press the “off” button on the remote control. Ola tries to make it clear that “It’s not so easy to be there, safe, while the country is at war”. “In fact, our body is here, but our spirit is theresummarizes with his words Oksana, pushing a small lost car on the table. Many of our families and friends are still there.”

Like Valentina, stranded somewhere near Donetsk, whose apartment windows were blown out during a bombardment. “Now at least people know who Putin really is.” “Not everyone yet, reacts Ola, who recalls that some of his relatives, settled near Krasnodar, in Russia, continue to believe that only the Donbass region is targeted. “What am I telling them? But wait, the whole country is getting bombed!”

Every time the phone chimes, “it is accompanied by stress”, “You never know what it’s for.” “My husband, normally, he works in an energy company, he had never touched a weapon until then”, Oksana repeats. “Mine, Ola continues, told me that he was now planning to go to Kiev, the capital…”.

Even from Poland, the nights are restless. Ola finally cracked: “Everyone sleeps badly”, “we wake up a lot”, “we are anxious”, “it’s not possible”. Oksana, bags under her eyes, is convinced that“It will take years to recover.” Her eldest, who does not let go of his plastic fire truck, came to see her: “He was asking me what Dad was doing, why he wasn’t there. I told him he was defending our little house.”