He dwells on dark thoughts, has the impression of not being up to it or lacks the energy to carry out his daily tasks. In Quebec, one in seven fathers feels high psychological distress, reveals a survey released Monday by the Regroupement pour la Valorisation de la Paternité.
Posted at 10:30 a.m.
Updated at 2:58 p.m.
As the 10 beginse Fatherhood week under the theme “Dad, do you need help? », the survey conducted by SOM shows that some fathers are more at risk of experiencing psychological distress.
Among fathers with an annual income of less than $35,000, more than one in four experiences psychological distress. The same observation is observed among unemployed fathers as well as among those who have experienced a separation in the last five years.
Anglophone (19%), allophone (17%), single (19%) or fathers who were victims of violence in their childhood (17%) are also more likely than the average father (13%) to experience a such situation.
“The psychological distress of fathers is linked to factors such as lack of confidence in the exercise of his role, having difficulties in the relationship with the mother, not having support from his entourage”, notes Carl Lacharité, professor in the psychology department at the University of Quebec at Trois-Rivières, who participated in the development of the survey questionnaire.
Encouraging data
The survey, conducted online from 1er as of March 11, 2022 among more than 2,000 Quebecers with at least one child aged 0 to 18, however, contains encouraging data. In 2021, a similar exercise measured the psychological distress of men in general. This then amounted to nearly 20%.
“Among fathers, we are at 13%, emphasizes Carl Lacharité. One might think that being a father is partly a protective factor against psychological distress. It’s something that gives meaning to their lives, something that mobilizes them in the tasks they have to do. »
Dany Farcy can testify to this. Father of a 7-year-old boy and two grown children aged 27 and 21, he has known dark times. His life was marked by alcoholism and suicidal thoughts.
“Fatherhood is what kept me alive. That’s what gave me hope to get out of it, ”says the 55-year-old man.
The construction worker who lives in the Baie-Comeau region has not experienced psychological distress for almost 7 years, he says, because he went to get help. “By the way, the word ‘help’ irritates my ears. I am a rebel. Or rather, I was a rebel. »
“Today, I am the father I always wanted to be because I knew there were resources. I learned that you can come from afar, from the depths of your being, but that it is not lost if you accept help. »
For him, life-saving support came from Maison Oxygène in Baie-Comeau, an organization that offers accommodation and services to fathers in vulnerable situations.
Tenacious mentality
Dany Farcy admits that for a long time he thought “that a tough guy, a tough, that a man does not ask for help. »
This mentality tends to slowly change among the younger generations, observes Carl Lacharité. “They are going to be more likely to talk about their emotions. »
However, this image of the man who solves his problems alone persists.
“When it really gets stuck, the old stereotyped reflexes found in men will come back. […] They will still consider that going to ask for help is a sign of weakness, ”says the professor from the University of Quebec in Trois-Rivières.
The distress of fathers “remains a little underground, a little invisible”, notes the researcher. “The overall results of this survey are a broad call for empathy towards men,” he continues. That means caring about the fathers around us. »
How to do ? “You don’t have to ask them, ‘How are you feeling?’ It’s always a bit complicated for a man to answer this question, ”says the professor. Instead, he suggests this formulation: “How are you doing with your children? »
“Men will start talking about what they’re doing with them, and then, through their response, they’ll start talking about what they’re going through and how they’re feeling. »