The working day is over. You take the metro and take advantage of the few minutes before your stop to watch videos of kittens on your cell phone when a photo of an erect penis suddenly pops up on the screen. Someone near you, probably in the same car, uploaded a photo of their limb through AirDrop, an iPhone feature. The unsolicited image appears without even accepting the transfer. It’s the modern way of “flashing” your genitals, except this time the anonymity is preserved.
The anecdote is told to us by a young woman who experienced this situation in the Montreal metro. This is expressed in the context of the documentary Hello, here is my penis, which seeks to understand what is behind this practice. Because, although the majority of penis photos are not sent in this way, the fact remains that dick pics are gaining popularity.
Approached by Urbania to bring this light-hearted documentary despite the seriousness of the subject, comedian and screenwriter Kim Lévesque-Lizotte mentions having hesitated, but very little time. “I realized that it allowed me to talk about all the subjects I wanted to tackle: our relationship to sexuality, our relationship to masculinity, male-female relationships, digital intimacy and violence made to women. »Topics that are all important to her.
“Anything that prevents a woman from thriving 100% in society worries me a lot, and I think it’s exponential since I have a daughter,” drops the comedian at the end of the phone, who tries , between two questions, to feed and entertain Marguerite, aged three and a half.
The one-hour documentary illustrates, through five chapters with well-thought-out titles, what a dick pic, why this is a growing phenomenon, as well as the effects this cliché can have on the recipient. To do this, nearly thirty guests with various expertise took part in the work.
Anything that prevents a woman from thriving 100% in society worries me a lot, and I think it’s exponential since I have a daughter.
Transactional spirit
Of these, Kwantlen Polytechnic University, British Columbia, Doctor of Psychology Cory Pederson is arguably one of the most enlightening on the subject. This professor carried out a study, one of the first in the world, on the photos of penises, in particular to understand their reason for being.
After polling 1,087 participants – 48% of whom have already posted an unsolicited photo -, Mme Pederson was able to identify six reasons for sending this kind of image. In the first place is the “transactional spirit”. According to his study, 44% of men would send a snapshot in order to receive one in turn, or to have sex. Then, 33% of men would photograph their genitalia in order to “chase a partner”.
These men are not “ill-intentioned”, indicates Kim Lévesque-Lizotte. “They are the ones who must be educated on the fact that their gesture is not trivial, but rather an aggression!” ” she says. “For sure, if all you’ve seen is heteronormal pornography that starts with an erection and ends with an ejaculation, you think that’s what a woman wants and wants to see, she adds. It’s not [forcément] the case. “
Part of the feature film is also interested in the identity aspect that the phallus can have for a man. “Ever since they were little, they’ve been told that having a big penis is important. That the penis is the center of their sexuality, that is how they will make women come, ”explains Kim Lévesque-Lizotte after speaking with Marc Lafrance, sociologist and associate professor at Concordia University .
She is thinking in particular of the men’s changing rooms: “There is a hierarchy that is being created. Who has a prepubertal penis, who has a developed penis. Men put a lot of pressure on themselves and think that all of their sexuality will revolve around it. “
Then come the reasons for men who are more, if not totally, aware of the trauma that a photo of their penis can cause. In third place, at 18%, is thus “sexual gratification”, that is, in a way, exhibitionism. The case of the metro is an excellent example.
In fourth place, at 9%, is the desire to exercise “power or control” over the recipient. Public figures are more victims in this case, as evidenced by the new mayoress of Longueuil, Catherine Fournier, in the context of the documentary. Sports journalist Chantal Machabée even establishes a direct correlation between the number of penis photos she receives and the defeats of the Montreal Canadiens.
Finally, tied at 6%, come “unresolved childhood problems” and “misogyny”. Send a dick pic à des femmes is used “to remind these women that they are only sexual objects that should be used by men.” It’s violent. [C’est comme si on leur disait :] remember your place ”, explains with annoyance Kim Lévesque-Lizotte, who herself tried an experiment within the framework of the work. After a week on Tinder and Snapchat, she received a few penis photos, with no hello or no introduction. An experience that troubled her, to say the least.
Getting his dick pic
“It is not behavior that is only violent and negative. The same behavior can be acceptable, ”recognizes the host of the documentary, who mentions that receiving a photo of a penis can indeed be pleasant and fit into romantic foreplay. The important thing is to have the consent of his or her partner.
“This is not a documentary to make people feel guilty or to remind us that men are dangerous. It is a documentary which is there to dissect a problem, to understand human behaviors which are quite basic and which are exacerbated by social networks ”, she specifies.
The documentary ends with the author and ex-sex worker Mélodie Nelson, who gives advice to a man on how to succeed. dick pic. “It is especially so as not to condemn the gesture when it is intimate and consensual,” says Kim Lévesque-Lizotte. “We never talk about how men can arouse desire, be sexy. It is taboo. It requires a lot of vulnerability, and that is not valued in masculinity, ”she explains.
The comedian, screenwriter and mother concludes with the ultimate will behind this documentary: “Women have desire and want to live an erotic life and have digital intimacy. It’s just that we don’t want to be assaulted anymore. “