Three days before I turned 50, in November, my boss asked me if I wanted to write a column on menopause. At another time, I would surely have taken it badly, but today, it inspires me. I may be dreaming in color, but menopause could be an enviable milestone in any woman’s life.
The subject interests me particularly since the documentary Loto-Meno de Véro, which is a turning point in Quebec in this regard. Because it was the honest testimony of a fairly young woman who asked herself a lot of questions that we should all ask ourselves.
What struck me in this documentary is this idea that women are probably prescribed medication for all sorts of problems, whereas it may sometimes be hormonal changes that are to blame. When my mother gave birth to me 50 years ago, she was tied to her bed “for her safety”, and I still can’t believe it. We don’t treat pregnant women like that anymore, but it gives a good idea of how menopause must have been perceived for a long time.
Because the menopause, I have the impression that it looks a lot like the crisis of puberty, when the body changes. You suddenly find yourself with hairs that had never grown in certain places, pimples that you thought you had said goodbye to, migraines, unexpected energy spikes and drops.
Something is happening that is completely normal — what is abnormal is not treating the possible suffering that may accompany these transformations.
Whether it’s severe teenage acne or menopausal vaginal dryness.
Since Loto-MenoI am convinced that there are now more women who talk about their hormones first before their ailments in the doctor’s office.
Am I in menopause? Hard to say, I don’t take hormones, but I have a hormonal IUD that prevents menstruation, as I had been in a lot of pain since my late thirties with pain and heavy bleeding. This IUD gave me back my life, which is no longer ruled by rules — to put it bluntly, it’s a deliverance. I have never felt so free. Menopause should have the same effect, in my opinion.
But there are small signs that do not deceive. Like night sweats on occasion. I go to bed at night with a beautiful brushingI sometimes wake up in the morning with a perm, and I have to go wash the sheets.
It’s boring, but nothing too disabling. For others, the symptoms can be very difficult. And it’s not something that only belongs to people in their fifties, because perimenopause can start very early for some people. I have a cousin who went through menopause at 32.
It’s funny when I think about it. I wanted my first period so badly. I was so looking forward to it, and I was terribly jealous of everyone at school who had them before me. I couldn’t join the pad-swapping club until I stained panties.
When my best friend Élaine had her period before me, I was full fruit. Desperate, I wrote in my diary, wiping away my tears: “But I have bigger breasts. »
Inevitably, they finally arrived, at 13, and my mother telephoned all the relatives to announce that I had become a “woman”. A little more and we bought a cake to celebrate it like for my first communion.
Why wouldn’t it be the same when our periods stop? A celebration ?
I spoke one day on a beach with a woman in her fifties who considered herself “less of a woman” since she had stopped having her period, even though she had given birth to two children. At that time, I was in my thirties, and while she was telling me about her spleen, I only dreamed of having my uterus ripped out, because I was in pain for three weeks a month. In addition, she was perfect in her swimsuit. I thought she was stupid to think so, but I didn’t tell her. Because I felt that it hurt her, that she really believed in this twisted idea that she was becoming less “womanly”, just because she was no longer bleeding and could no longer get pregnant.
The best ally when menopause arrives? The other women, as we discover in my colleague’s file. Those who are not afraid to talk about it. The ones that give you tips, and the number of a good hormone therapist. In my group of friends who have known each other for 40 years, it was my friend Élaine, always one step ahead of us in experimentation, who advised me to use the IUD. These days, she’s been talking to us about hormonal cream, and we’re all ears.
The sinews of war here is information, knowledge, understanding, sharing, certainly not silence and embarrassment.
It’s very important that we talk about our hormones, girls. Openly. Because that is our reality. This is also the reality of men, who experience one PMS per day, rather than per month — I beg to differ jokes aunt since I was 20, excuse her.
I don’t know yet if I’m going through my menopause, as Clémence DesRochers sang it, this formidable pioneer in the field, but I intend to live it happily. And I believe that with a little help from friends, and a nudge from science, this can be one of the richest times of our lives. This is how it should be approached, and why it should be talked about, for all the girls who follow us and who will go through it one day. I even believe that it is a duty of solidarity.