Posted at 3:00 p.m.
“It’s the start of a new life, at four,” explains Sabrina-Claudia, a 38-year-old primary school teacher, whom we spoke to a few days before the family left. “And even if I don’t like that life that much, traveling is a great way to come and mark this new beginning: it will be our first family project without Gab. »
After being diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic osteosarcoma, a hyper-aggressive bone cancer, a year ago, Gabriel was treated with chemotherapy for two months before the verdict fell on May 27, 2021: there was no had nothing more to do. He had six months left to live.
“When it happens to you, you can’t believe it,” said the mother. It’s very special to live knowing that you’re going to lose your child. It’s disgusting, actually. »
PHOTO PROVIDED BY FAMILY
Gabriel
On December 7, at Sainte-Justine hospital, surrounded by his parents and his sister Romy-Olivia, 6, and his brother Mathis, 9, Gab gently left life… leaving a huge void. A hole. Surviving one’s child is abnormal, against nature. And taboo.
“When you walk down the hospital corridor, it’s not written on your forehead that your child is in treatment, in remission or that he’s going to die,” says Sébastien, a 40-year-old computer developer. Sabrina-Claudia continues: “We would have liked to talk to other parents who were going through the same thing, and ask: “Is it going well for you? How’s it going ?” I would have needed to connect with people who were going through the same thing as us. »
Lack of resources
In times of a pandemic, when visits and contact are limited, activities for parents who are grieving or losing a child, whether in hospital or community settings, have slowed down or even disappeared. This is one more ordeal that has marked the couple’s already painful journey.
Outside the hospital centre, there seems to be a “hole” in the supply of support services. There are many resources for parents when their child is in treatment or has passed away… but when he is in palliative care, there is nothing, or very little.
Sabrina Claudia Ferri
She specifies that this does not concern what is happening in the Sainte-Justine oncology department: Sébastien and she consider that the team has been very present, generous and benevolent. “The palliative care doctor is a gem. »
She found only one book on the subject in the library (Until the end of your short lifepublished in 2008 by La Presse, now out of print) and says he listened to a podcast episode dealing with the death of a child sick with cancer (Transfer, episode 121). For the rest, she knows that Leucan, which has been supporting the family since the announcement of Gabriel’s illness, offers a host of activities for grieving families: from massage therapy sessions to workshops for siblings and group meetings on Zoom.
Wave of solidarity
Surrounded by their friends and families, Sabrina-Claudia and Sébastien, who live in Repentigny, have been overwhelmed by a wave of solidarity and generosity this past year, an “incredible momentum, which [les] helped a lot,” says Sébastien. One of the unexpected impacts? The three children were “buried” with gifts… to the point that the couple had to rectify the situation.
“Giving gifts is super nice, slips Sabrina-Claudia, but at a certain point, they were very spoiled and we don’t like to put too much emphasis on material goods. It is not part of our values. The couple therefore suggested that this great movement of sympathy translate into special outings for the children. This wave of solidarity towards them made “all the difference”, notes Sabrina-Claudia.
Slowed down by the pandemic, the Children’s Wish Foundation has also had to modify its activities: outings and trips have been replaced by… donations of material goods. Never mind, the Poupart-Ferri have not given up on their dream: to visit Walt Disney World in Florida with their family.
PHOTO PROVIDED BY FAMILY
Walt Disney World in Florida with the family
“Since 2015, we have been collecting our money for this,” says Sébastien.
I don’t know if I wanted to go on a trip so soon after Gab passed away, but there’s something important about living in the moment, doing things as a family, whenever the opportunity arises. .
Sebastien Poupart
“Don’t wait. The pandemic has taught us this and in our case it is even more true,” he adds.
For spring break, the family therefore left for 10 days to visit the four Disney theme parks in Orlando. A symbolic, almost mystical journey. “Gab will remain frozen in time, notes Sabrina-Claudia. I wanted to do it while he was old enough to do it, even though I know it sounds strange to say that… I wanted to take the trip he would have wanted to take when he was 11 years old. And that is now. »
PHOTO PROVIDED BY FAMILY
Mathis and Romy with the small figurine of the warrior that their brother Gabriel loved
In the family’s luggage, there is the small figurine of a brave warrior that Gab loved. She accompanied him throughout the treatments – and now she never leaves the little hands of her brother or sister.
“Gab asked me not to cry, drop Sabrina-Claudia. I cannot keep this promise, because crying is part of my daily life. But he also asked us to have a good life, a happy life, all together, and that we are capable of doing. So that’s what we’re going to do. »