Louis-Félix left daycare in June and will enter kindergarten as Lou in a few days. Supported by her family, she chose this summer to take another step in asserting her gender, by publicly appearing as a girl.
Posted at 9:00 a.m.
For Karine Gagnon, Lou’s mother, the outcome of her child’s social transition during the summer period was a logical decision.
“We had no preconceived idea of how it was going to happen,” said the 41-year-old Saguenéenne, mother of three children. But it seems that for her, it was the right time. She wanted to start afresh when she arrived at school. Even though she is young, she knows where she is going. It’s very clear to her. »
Mme Gagnon recounts with emotion the journey of his daughter, a unique and singular journey, like that of all transgender people, young or old.
From the age of 2, Lou (then Louis-Félix) had a propensity to shun his brother’s toys and instead turn to those of his older sister. “She also liked her sister’s clothes and dancing,” says Ms.me Gagnon.
At the age of 3, at home, she puts on clothes associated with the feminine gender, dresses, skirts, frills… And at the age of 4, she confides to her mother that “in her body, she is a boy”, but that “in her heart, she is a girl”.
One day, Lou wanted to go to daycare in her new dress. She wanted to show it to her teacher and her friends.
“We, the parents, were not ready, admits Mme Gagnon, but it was a defining moment. The eyes she had! She was bright, very happy and playful! It was magical. »
A deep step
The parents are then convinced that the approach of Lou, now 5 years old, is not only “a pass”, but that it is “much deeper and anchored”.
After an appointment with the child’s pediatrician, the family calls on a social worker and then on to a local organization focused on diversity and inclusion of members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Last June, with a view to returning to school, the family met with the school management and stakeholders, including a psychologist, a sexologist and a remedial teacher.
The school welcomed us. I felt that we all had the same goal, which is to help and support Lou and also to inform, prevent and raise awareness. We do this for her, to protect her.
Karine Gagnon, mother of Lou
At the school service centre, the first name has been changed: it will be Lou. And what about the civilian director’s office, where you can officially change your first name? “We don’t do anything drastic, nothing hasty,” says Karine Gagnon. Lou is getting old and she will decide if she wants to permanently change her first name. We want to respect his rhythm. »
A unique journey
Respect the rhythm of the child. This is the key to properly supporting your child in research or in identity transition, believes Annie Pullen Sansfaçon, professor at the School of Social Work at the University of Montreal and holder of the Canada Research Chair in Transgender Children and Their Families. .
“Summer can help some young people in their journey of social transition, she explains, if they don’t want it to be public, for example. This can be a good time, especially during important stages, between elementary and high school, or between high school and CEGEP. »
She would like to point out that each person who undertakes a gender transition journey, whether social, medical or legal, has their own way of doing it. There is no special or auspicious time to do it… except when it suits the person experiencing it.
“Each person is unique,” says Ms.me Pullen Sansfaçon. It will depend on his needs, his environment and the openness of the environment. »
no label
Samuel*, a 20-year-old trans boy, also chose the summer to take an important step in his transition: he started taking testosterone, a hormone prescribed by his doctor, when he changed town and country. college establishment.
“I am followed at the Meraki Health Center, he underlines. I have been on medication for a year now that changes my voice and my appearance. »
Why do it out of sight? “Because being transgender does not define me, answers the one who also took advantage of the summer break to redo his wardrobe. I don’t want to trivialize what I live… but at the same time, I don’t want a label. »
The rhythm
Sexologist with children and adolescents, Stéphanie Houle has been supporting young transgender people for 15 years. According to her, not only respecting the pace of the person going through the transition is important, but also the pace – and it can be very variable.
“Some talk about it to their friends and do things quietly, she slips, and others go there very quickly. They don’t make the same choices, not in the same order, not in the same way or at the same time. »
Geneviève Fournier, psychoeducator in one of the largest school service centers in Quebec, was the resource person for about twenty young transgender people. She finds that summer is often a great springboard.
“Transformation is first internal,” she says. When the person is ready, they will first open up to their inner circle. In this sense, summer offers eight weeks of introspection, reflection… Summer brings a beautiful wind of freshness and renewal. Some decide to experience a return to school that resembles their summer… and that resembles them. »
That’s what Lou did: Over the summer, she told her friends that she now wanted to be called by her new first name, and that the pronoun “she” be used to refer to her.
She told them at the same time, according to her mother: “you know, it doesn’t matter if you’re wrong”.