While the Independent Commission on Incest and Sexual Violence Against Children published its final report on Friday, the Secretary of State for Children assured that it would continue “with a revised roadmap”.
“My name is Sabine, I am 60 years old. I was raped by my father when I was a child.” At a public meeting of the Ciivise in Paris in September, Sabine spoke. In the four corners of the packed room, screens display this message: “You are no longer alone, we believe you”. Two years earlier, to the day, the Independent Commission on Incest and Sexual Violence Against Children launched its call for testimonies, then its tour of France to hear from victims and their loved ones. “I don’t know how to live, it’s like my father tore up the instructions”continues Sabine that evening, thanking the audience with applause.
There have been 27 meetings like this since Ciivise was born, at a time when the Independent Commission on Sexual Abuse in the Church was preparing to publish the Sauvé report and when #MeTooIncest was flooding the networks social. In 2021, when announcing its creation, Emmanuel Macron promised victims of incest that they would not be “never alone again”. He had instructed the magistrate Edouard Durand and the former director of the Docteurs Bru association, Nathalie Mathieu, to lead the work of this new commission, until December 2023.
While the Ciivise published its final report on Friday November 17, the Secretary of State for Children assured that this commission would continue “with a revised roadmap”, Sunday on franceinfo. According to Charlotte Caubel, “we must maintain the momentum of the Civic and continue to have this vigilance” on “complementary issues for our country”, “beyond” of incest.
Will this statement satisfy the 60 signatories of a column published in The world in mid-October? They affirmed that the end of the commission “would be political nonsense“, arguing that“in just two years”nearly 30,000 victims or co-victims “made their voices heard”.
“A hope” embodied by Judge Durand
Among the people interviewed by the commission, some revealed the facts for the first time. But the majority of them (nine out of ten, according to the Ciivise) had already spoken, in vain. This speech before a dedicated institution, established at the top of the State, thus represented an important step.
“When I called the Ciivise, it was people who understood, who didn’t judge, it was the first time”tells franceinfo Vanessa Frasson, victim of incest by her uncle. She had custody of her child taken away after denouncing the paternal incest that the little girl had confided to her that she had suffered. This “childless mother” contacted Ciivise in 2021, via an online questionnaire. At that time, only three people around him knew about it, because “talking about what had happened to me made everyone uncomfortable.” She then went to one of the public meetings organized by the commission, on March 23, in Bobigny, near Paris. “I remember trembling, pouring out a little of my despair, feeling connection, support in the room, she unfolds. The magic of the Civic is to relieve us a little of all this guilt, this shame.” A saving moment that she attributes in particular to the co-president of the commission, magistrate Edouard Durand: “It was his presence that allowed me to testify.”
“Judge Durand manages to create an intense moment of connection and kindness, which is quite unprecedented in our situation because we are often very alone, not supported by those around us.”
Vanessa Frasson, heard by the Ciiviseat franceinfo
Pascale crossed the Belgian border in January 2022 to go to a Ciivise meeting in Lille. Having suffered from a “traumatic amnesia” for years, this 56-year-old woman finds the strength to grab the microphone after hearing the testimonies “during two hours”. “This is the first time I’ve been able to really talk about it and say that I suffered incest from my father from the age of 3 to 13, she confides. Mr. Durand saw that it was difficult to say the words, I will remember his kind gaze all my life, he gave me thumbs up and smiled at me (…) Everyone applauded, it was a suspended moment .” Pascale, who feels “recognized as a victim”will then participate in the documentary A silence so loud, in which actress Emmanuelle Béart reveals having been a victim of incest.
An organization identified by the victims
Over the course of the meetings he co-chaired and his media interventions, the former children’s judge of the Bobigny court became the face and voice of the Civic. “At night, when I can’t sleep, I watch videos of you. You speak so well that you soothe me,” says to him during the Parisian meeting on September 21 Julie, 38 years old, “raped by her uncle”. Like the leader of a giant discussion group, the magistrate with a slender silhouette, whose phrasing recalls that of a man of the Church, punctuates each intervention with a word of encouragement: “Your soul is luminous”, “you are a warrior”. Edouard Durand also took the opportunity of these final gatherings to preach in favor of maintaining the Civic, this “village” who unites around the victims. On the eve of the presentation of the report, he explained it to franceinfo.
“The Civil Society is not only responsible for taking stock of the situation, collecting testimonies to use them. It is responsible for being a space of protection, of social support. Who can say that that is no longer necessary ?”
Edouard Durand, co-president of Ciiviseat franceinfo
“It is an asset, in France, to have brought the word of the unspeakable”presses the socialist deputy Isabella Santiago. The elected official initiated the proposed law on the forfeiture of parental authority in the event of conviction for incestuous sexual violence, one of the rare measures recommended by the Ciivise which is on the verge of success. This text was adopted on second reading in the National AssemblyMonday November 13. “It would seem wise to me not to stop Ciivise because it is an entity clearly identified by the public”observes the elected official, according to which many continue to call the commission rather than 119, the number highlighted in the campaign spot against incest launched by the government in mid-September.
“Freeing speech without freeing listening”
If the work of the Ciivise is almost unanimously praised, expectations have been high and sometimes disappointed. “What we are currently given is words that make noise, not words that take action”said a participant during a Parisian meeting. “People were waiting for help, not just ‘we believe you’”, supports Steffy Alexandrian, who founded the Carl association, named after her little brother. The latter ended his life at the age of 12, after denouncing sexual assault by his father, already convicted of acts of the same nature committed against his older sister. Hearing at her request by the commission, she did not “didn’t feel like I was truly heard”. And regrets that the Civil Society did not provide “advices” to people “deprived” regarding the functioning of the judicial system in matters of sexual violence. The young woman wonders about the status of magistrate of Edouard Durand, who was able to make the victims believe that they were going to be taken into account by justice.
“A magistrate remains a magistrate, he will not hand you a handkerchief, he will not say to you ‘I believe you’.
Steffy Alexandrian, creator of the Carl associationat franceinfo
The victims “know that by going to the Civil Service, they are not in a legal proceeding”retorts judge Edouard Durand. Naturally, if a person expresses a need for support, we offer it to them. We showed these public meetings that we were capable of making them spaces of trust, security and dignity.”
Raped at the age of 8 by a missionary priest and two of his cousins, Arnaud Gallais welcomes the fact that a man of robes slips into that of co-president of the Civic: “I had difficulty believing in our justice. Edouard Durand reconciled me with the mechanics of justice.” This member of Ciivise, also co-founder of the Prévenir et Protect collective, is, however, more bitter about the political decisions that have resulted from the work of the commission so far. Of the 20 recommendations made in 2022, alone “the TV spot was followed” by the government. “To be content with that amounts to telling people to free up speech without freeing up listening.”, he denounces. Also advocating the maintenance of the Ciivise, Arnaud Gallais aspires for the fight to intensify: “Emmanuel Macron can no longer just say ‘I believe you’. He must also say ‘I protect you’.”
If you are a child in danger, if you are a person who witnesses or suspects sexual violence against a child or if you wish to seek advice, there is a national telephone number for children in danger: 119, open 24/7. The call is free and the number is not visible on telephone bills.
It is also possible to send a written message to 119 via the form to fill out online or to get in touch via an online chat: allo119.gouv.fr.
For deaf and hard of hearing people, a specific device is available on the site allo119.gouv.fr.