Her name is Julie Smith and she is a clinical psychologist. Its mission: to popularize mental health. An unlikely star of social networks, she has been called the “psychiatrist with 20 million likes”. His book Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before?, freshly translated, has just arrived in bookstores. We read it for you. Here’s what we learned.
The phenomenon
Before getting there, you should know that it was on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram that the thirty-year-old psychologist, who practices in Hampshire, south of London, first made herself known a few years ago. With its compact, dynamic and educational capsules (in English only, unfortunately), focusing on anxiety, sleep or depression, it has built a solid reputation. As proof, his subscribers now number in the millions (4.7 million on TikTok).
“This lady has an extraordinary ability to popularize science! », comments on it Sonia Lupien, scientific director of the Research Center of the University Institute of Mental Health of Montreal, invited to watch some capsules for us on YouTube. “His examples are really good, and I’m sure it helps many people understand complex concepts. Very good videos and a very good approach! I will keep this in my favorites! »
That gives you an idea of the enthusiasm aroused by his “psychologist’s tricks” (“ tips from a psychologist “), “five things someone with social anxiety wants you to know” and “four signs you’re headed for burnout”, always armed with bullets, bricks or other visual aids. .
Why a book?
Julie Smith is not looking for notoriety. As proof: we weren’t even able to get an interview with him, despite the new translation of his book, the biggest seller in the United Kingdom in 2022 (excluding fiction). Not bad for a popular science work, right? She would be too absorbed by her job and writing a second book, people whisper. “I had no desire to be a public figure or on social media,” she explained to Guardian two years ago. The idea was really to share information. »
This is because in psychology, she said, a large portion of therapy is based on education: how do our moods work, how do we influence our morale and how can this ultimately impact our mental health?
By repeating basic notions, and especially by hearing his patients say to him “but why didn’t anyone tell me about this before?” ”, she decided to go ahead and make all this valuable information available. First online, then recently on paper.
“The book is the educational element of therapy, but it is not the therapy,” she nuanced in the interview. This brick of more than 300 pages is obviously less compact than its capsules, although surprisingly just as digestible, and allows you to analyze in depth a number of subjects of interest: from “life in gray” to happiness, including motivation , grief, fear and anxiety. The idea: to offer a “toolbox”, as she says.
L’art de garder le moral
Le chapitre sur « la vie en gris » ou le « moral en berne » est particulièrement éclairant. On le sait, on a tendance à croire que certaines personnes ont le bonheur plus facile que d’autres. Ou que certains ont la guigne, c’est selon. Or voilà qu’on apprend ici (et « la science nous confirme – et les gens le découvrent souvent en thérapie », est-il écrit), qu’effectivement « nous sommes plus à même d’influer sur nos émotions que nous le pensons ». Intéressant, mais comment ?
Attention, il ne s’agit pas de penser tout simplement positivement (et l’autrice le répète à différents moments dans le livre : on ne contrôle pas ses émotions, mais plutôt ce qu’on en fait ; nuance, que les adeptes de psychologie positive se le tiennent pour dit), mais plutôt de reconnaître ce que nous vivons (une tristesse, un coup dur, on met des mots sur son ressenti), d’éviter certains pièges (comme le repli), pour se concentrer enfin sur l’« essentiel ». Quel est-il ? En résumé, la science est catégorique : il faut miser sur l’exercice physique, prioriser son sommeil, manger équilibré, se doter d’une routine quotidienne et entretenir des relations humaines de qualité.
Motivation, bonheur et relations (encore)
Vous manquez de motivation pour mettre tout cela en pratique ? Bonne nouvelle : « La motivation n’est pas une habileté ni un trait de personnalité », écrit-elle. Plutôt un « sentiment » qu’il faut apprendre à « cultiver ». Comment ? En comprenant son fonctionnement (et elle le décrit en long et avec moult précisions), notamment ceci : la motivation naît dans l’action. « C’est ce sentiment fantastique que nous éprouvons quand nous sortons de la salle de sport, et non lorsque nous nous y rendons », résume-t-elle.
Quant au fameux bonheur, au cœur de tant de quêtes, on l’a dit, mais permettez qu’on répète : l’activité physique et le sommeil sont la clé. « Aucune thérapie […] cannot compensate for the destructive impact of poor quality sleep or a lack of physical activity,” the psychologist repeats numerous times in the text.
Finally, and at the risk of repeating ourselves, remember this: when it comes to happiness, relationships are fundamental. In the section on “a meaningful life,” Julie Smith concludes: “When it comes to a happy existence […]our relationships and the satisfaction they give us […] are at the heart of the equation. Yes, “above money, fame, class, genes and all those things we are told to strive for.” […] Healthy relationships protect us physically and mentally throughout our lives. ” It is said.
Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before? Stress, depression, lack of motivation… The best toolbox for the ups and downs of life!
Saint-Jean Editor
324 pages