This text is part of the special section Religions and funerary rites
It is estimated that each death creates nine mourners. If the pandemic has caused thousands of deaths in Canada, these deaths have therefore bereaved hundreds of thousands of people. In the context of severe restrictions during the pandemic, these people were often unable to say goodbye to their loved one or organize a funeral rite. Researchers decided to look into this phenomenon.
The University of Quebec at Chicoutimi (UQAC) is currently conducting a large study on bereavement in a pandemic, with 955 respondents in total. If, in normal times, 7% to 10% of bereaved people have great difficulty going through bereavement and need medical or psychological care, the pandemic has doubled this proportion. “What we first noticed at the start of the study was that 20% of the people questioned showed signs of pathological grief. So we were worried, ”sums up UQAC professor and researcher Jacques Cherblanc, who is leading the study.
In addition to the quantitative data, the researchers are conducting qualitative interviews to answer the following question: “In what ways have the bereaved gone through this experience of death and mourning in the unprecedented context of the pandemic?” »
“We want to study the overall state of health of these people. Physical health, but also mental and spiritual health, and seeing how this health evolves over time,” explains Mr. Cherblanc.
The time of farewell
One of the notions that comes up the most in the testimonies is the lack of time to say goodbye to their loved one. “My godfather died a week later. I was not allowed to see him for more than 15 minutes after an 8-hour drive”, testifies, for example, a respondent.
Many have simply never been able to see their loved one due to restrictions in hospitals. The experience is then similar to that of a loved one who has gone missing and whose body has never been found. “People have never seen the body. They arrived and the coffin was closed. They tell me: “I don’t even know if my mother or my father is really dead”, reports Mr. Cherblanc.
The fact of not being able to accompany a person at the end of life “can cause emotional distress and anxiety”, especially in a context where, very often, “the decision was up to the nursing staff”, can we read in a publication researchers. “Some caregivers applied the rules strictly, without regard or concern for the well-being of others, conditions of application which, for some rules, were at the limit of inhumanism. »
The social non-recognition of mourning
However, what facilitates mourning is the meaning given to it, explains Mr. Cherblanc. “For mourning to have meaning, you have to recount, you have to say, exteriorize what you have experienced. But people who have lost someone during the pandemic often don’t even know how the person left. This chapter of mourning is missing. So we imagine and we fear. »
Another complication to the grieving process was the impossibility of organizing funeral rites. When this was possible again, in 2021, funeral homes were then overwhelmed. The events had to be postponed again, or even canceled. “The death of the person could not be recognized socially”, summarizes the researcher.
Some people still organized a rite, but much later. “It didn’t have the meaning they wanted. We find ourselves at a moment in the experience of mourning which should be reintegration into society. But the middle step is missing for the bereaved: that their loss is significant, that their grief has been acknowledged. »
Furthermore, since it is often elderly people who have died, those around them tend to reduce the suffering caused, since it is “normal” for an elderly person to die. “But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” explains the researcher.
Let the bereaved speak
The researcher would like to send a message to political decision-makers and those in the health sector, as well as to all those who have a bereaved person in their entourage. “There have been so many bereaved and disrupted bereavements during the pandemic! Not all of these people will be able to meet a psychosocial worker and receive the help they need, so something has to be done socially. »
The researchers of the study recommend “resocializing grief” so that it is no longer invisible. “To go through grief, you have to give meaning to the loss. What happened ? How do I live it? What do I keep from the deceased person? How do I develop a new relationship with the deceased person? illustrates Mr. Cherblanc. “The person must be able to talk about the deceased person. Of what she experienced, of the moment of death, but also of what the person was before dying. »
“As a friend, colleague, neighbour, I can participate in making sense of the loss that the person has experienced. Sharing your loss, talking about it, is also spreading the weight of your pain on several shoulders. »
In other words, you have to be open and attentive to these people. “If the person needs to speak, you have to give them this space so that they feel that their loss is recognized. Just listen to them. Don’t say, “It’s okay, it’ll pass.” We must take care of the bereaved socially,” he concludes.
This special content was produced by the Special Publications team of the To have to, relating to marketing. The drafting of To have to did not take part.