Cindy Bruna is a model. She paraded for the greatest like Jean-Paul Gaultier, Balmain, Chanel or Calvin Klein and her image is known and recognized throughout the world. For several years, she has been involved in the fight against violence against women. She is notably the godmother of the association Solidarité femmes. She has just published an autobiographical book: The day I stopped being afraid published by HarperCollins.
franceinfo: The day I stopped being afraid is a poignant testimony that tells of the stepfather you had for a few years, whom your mother had chosen, thinking that she was going to succeed in offering you the best with this man. Unfortunately, he was an alcoholic and violent. Does writing make it possible to pass on a witness and make others want to talk, to realize that it can happen to anyone?
Cindy Bruna: Completely. It was my will. I have the impression that with all the women that I have been able to meet, I have been given a bit of this torch and that now it is my turn to pass it on. Writing this book was ultimately very therapeutic.
You start with words that are very strong. You say : “Face against the ground, the coward struggles, it is the first time that he lowers his eyes. Tight all three in front of the gate“, telling you about your mother, your sister and yourself.”We gloat in silence, I’d like to spit my contempt in her face for all those times I screamed in silence“. That day, he was arrested by the police because indeed he left your house, so he is no longer at home, and that allows them to arrest him. There, you understand one thing, it’s is that no, he is not invincible.
He is not invincible. That’s exactly the feeling I had. It was a victory.
This book allows you to better understand the workings and how you can get into this vicious system.
Completely. Because even when you finally see it, you don’t realize it directly. There is also this notion of being a victim or not. It takes time to be able to tell.
That’s what often happens, you don’t feel like a victim when you can be. It is important to understand the mechanism of violence against women since there is a lot of manipulation and narcissism. Little by little, we are falling into a trap.
Cindy Brunaat franceinfo
At some point, this changes and you start to stand up to him.
Yes. A little later, I stood up to him.
You say to him:Shut up!”
Exactly. It is this speech, which joins, finally, that of today. She is the one who freed me from fear. This is the moment when I find myself alone with my mother because my sister is moving out when she is 18, and I am the one who has to protect her. I’m the one who has to make sure that everything goes well and there are things that go wrong so far, but that’s because it’s too much for me. Even I am shocked after all. Nothing more happens, but that day, I say to myself: in fact, we can go there, we can spit on him what he spit on us, too. For me, it’s over, I’m no longer his victim.
What do you keep from your childhood? There is the separation of your parents, then this toxic meeting and your mom who combines two jobs to give you food.
I keep everything! The good and the bad in the end, because it’s part of me. But what is certain is that I saw my mother suffer so much that today this book is for her. I owe him.
The last pages are to free speech and reach out. Tell us about your fight against violence against women.
I joined the association Women’s solidarity in 2017. Of course, my story carried me away, but I didn’t talk about it right away. I think I was not ready. The work they do is just amazing. He saves lifes. 73 associations throughout France, the listening number, 3919.
If there is one message that needs to be conveyed today, it is that for all women who are victims of violence, we need to seek help. You are not guilty. You are strong. It is necessary to talk about it. Call 3919
Cindy Brunaat franceinfo
Beyond that, your life is a bit of a fairy tale. You are spotted completely by chance, which propels you to the most beautiful fashion catwalks in the world. How were you spotted?
I was spotted on the beach playing volleyball. Afterwards, I arrived in Paris during my school holidays and everything went very quickly. At first, I didn’t necessarily like this job, I didn’t even know it was a real job. I said to myself why not, we will try. And gradually, I fell in love and said to myself: ok, that’s good, that’s what I want to do. And on top of that, I started having big dreams and saying to myself: I want this, I would like this!
You have also changed the image of the black community. I specify because you are the first black model who was excluded with Calvin Klein, in 2012. It’s nice to move the lines, to move, finally, the codes?
Yes, but before me, there were others! And I hope that after me, there will be others! The fashion industry is doing much better. In any case, she is much more inclusive. And it’s true that for me, when I got this Calvin Klein exclusive, I was very happy and honored to be the first black woman, but at the same time, I thought it was so crazy. There was a bit of this double balance: but that’s not normal, I shouldn’t be the first.
Did you doubt at times?
Sure of course. Is what I’m doing right? Should I continue? Should I go back to school or not? Then there are fears too.
It’s funny because there are very hard moments in this book and we have the feeling that this is what allowed you to build yourself more.
I haven’t done all the work behind to understand everything exactly and I don’t have the answers to all the questions finally, but yes, my journey made me who I am today.