How to reconnect with Christmas parties (or not)

Quebecers will be able to reconnect with parties Christmas this year. It’s a nice “reward”, but after 21 months of restrictions, and in a context of increasing numbers of cases, the prospect of seeing each other in large groups can generate questions, concerns and stress. Little guide to find your way around.

Catherine handfield
Press

For the first time since March 2020, Kim Lavoie went to a restaurant this week, with three friends. She was able to see how quickly you regain your ease, your bearings.

“In the restaurant, there was a large group of about twenty people, and they did not seem very worried!”, Summarizes Kim Lavoie, professor in the department of psychology at the University of Quebec in Montreal (UQAM ). It’s human nature: when we meet again, old habits spontaneously return. ”

In short, we can safely say that many people rejoice at the idea of ​​celebrating Christmas in groups of 20 vaccinated people and that they will spontaneously return to these traditions. That said, “it is sure that a relaxation of certain preventive measures, that can worry a lot of people”, agrees Kim Lavoie.

And this stress is completely normal, says Catherine Raymond, doctoral student in neuroscience and co-host of the podcast According to a study.

For 21 months we have been told that the other is possibly a vector of a potentially fatal disease, recalls Catherine Raymond.

To reduce stress, you can begin to expose yourself gradually, on the one hand, but also to display your colors with those close to you, telling them that it is possible to keep your distance, that you wash yourself. hands more frequently, than leaving earlier than usual, enumerates Catherine Raymond.

Without COVID-19, the holiday season is already a stressful time, she recalls. Our usual reflexes – doing things in advance, keeping a diary, playing sports, meditating, taking time for yourself – are becoming more relevant than ever.

It may seem like a blue flower, but expressing gratitude to loved ones also helps to feel good, adds Catherine Raymond. “It causes the secretion of lots of hormones, like oxytocin. It has a calming effect on the stress system. ”

What if we don’t want to?

If Public Health has ruled that these gatherings could be afforded, the fact remains that the number of cases is increasing and the shadow of the Omicron variant hangs over the planet. For some people, more vulnerable or more worried, the idea of ​​getting together with 20 people can be very anxiety-provoking. And for others, who have learned to be more selective in their relationships, seeing extended family again is not a panacea.

“You have to remember one thing, notes Christine Grou, president of the Ordre des psychologues du Québec: gathering 20 people is an authorization, not an obligation. ”

Each person, she said, should ask themselves whether this is what they need, or not. “If we are extremely stressed to receive 20 people, why would we impose it? “Asks Christine Grou, who emphasizes that we can very well see each other in smaller groups.

It will also be necessary to respect the decision of others. “The other does not think like me, does not necessarily react like me and does not necessarily have the same perception or the same understanding of the situation,” recalls the psychologist.

How to preserve relationships?

In Quebec, 89% of people 12 years of age and over are adequately vaccinated, which implies that 11% are not. Tuesday, the D^r Horacio Arruda has been clear: because they are the ones who end up hospitalized due to COVID-19, it is not recommended to admit them in groups of 20 people.

The situation takes on a “great degree of complexity,” agrees Christine Grou, who hopes that the divided families will know how to preserve their relationship. “But of course we have to protect the people who are going to be present,” she said.

According to Kim Lavoie, do not hesitate to ask loved ones if they are vaccinated or not. And to be transparent, by explaining to the unvaccinated that we do not judge them, but that we are uncomfortable with this exposure to risk. “The goal is not to persuade, but to respect your limits”, she sums up.

Catherine Raymond suggests getting creative by including unvaccinated people by videoconference, for example, or by inviting them to go skating the day after Christmas Eve. “It helps regain a sense of control over the situation,” she says.