When my parents were in elementary school in the 1950s, bullying came mostly from teachers, in my experience. These “educational” actions were considered acceptable by the adults of the time, which was not the opinion of the children.
When I was in primary and secondary school (1982-1995), bullies were mostly children and adolescents. The problem was widespread: a culture of bullying prevailed. Yet the word was rarely used. Adults did little to recognize the problem and did little to address it.
In the 2000s, we began to have a collective dialogue about bullying in schools. The problem was finally recognized. Since then, there has been a national plan to prevent and combat this phenomenon. However, bullying among young people remains a scourge, as if all the efforts of the last 25 years had not changed anything in the daily lives of young people.
A parallel can be drawn with domestic violence: the problem is recognized, considerable efforts are made to counter it, but it is not decreasing. Our interventions have failed. How can we explain this failure? What can we do differently?
Incapacity
The first reason for this failure is that adults have given up. Their involvement in anti-bullying or prevention programs remains low. Most — teachers, parents or school principals — feel powerless. Children and adolescents eventually understand that it is useless to ask adults for protection and feel abandoned. Changing schools or dropping out often becomes the only solution.
Let’s recognize that many adults have themselves suffered from bullying when they were young. They have never learned how to stop bullying. Many teachers are themselves victims of bullying or fear it, and adopt avoidance strategies rather than problem-solving strategies.
The role of adults in schools is to protect children and maintain a climate of physical, psychological and relational safety. We have failed in this duty for too long. In the meantime, children and families suffer. They experience the consequences of bullying: anxiety, depression, social isolation, learning difficulties and dropping out of school.
Parents also experience anxiety about their children being unsafe at school. Teachers who are bullied also experience mental health issues, take sick leave and change careers.
Culture of bullying
Analyzing the interventions carried out over the past 20 years as well as the prevention programs, one observation strikes me: these are weak and ineffective interventions. Does anyone really believe that expressing one’s emotions to one’s aggressor will solve the problem? That holding mediation meetings will promote conflict resolution? That teaching prosocial skills to perpetrators of bullying will transform them into empathetic beings?
Bullying is behavior chosen for a purpose. And that purpose is not to benefit others.
I have also seen many individual interventions aimed at helping victims and perpetrators of bullying. When there is a culture of bullying in a school or even a neighbourhood, these individual interventions are unlikely to solve the problem. They try to alleviate the symptoms while the children must continue to be in a violent and unsafe environment.
I would like to tell you that all these programs will eventually change this culture of bullying. Regrettably, I see that this has not been the case for 20 years, and if the trend continues, it will continue to deteriorate. What can be done to change this trend?
Solution
I remember one day when the principal of our high school decided to put an end to the reign of bullies that I had known well during the first three years of high school. He attacked the problem, knife between his teeth, with broad support. He ordered the bullies to stop blocking the passage in the hallways.
Each gang of bullies controlled a section of hallway where students had to pass to go to class, the pool, the cafeteria, or the gym. When the hallways were cleared, students were finally able to move around the school safely. Then the principal gave the bullies a choice: change schools, take night classes, be suspended, or be expelled. Within weeks, the bullies’ reign was over, thanks to a courageous principal supported by a courageous team.
The key to the success of this intervention, in my opinion, is that the bullies were “forced” to stop their actions. They were not given a course on non-violent communication, they were told to stop bullying. The message was clear: no bullying will be tolerated from now on. That’s what’s missing. Adults who fully own this choice and decide to implement it.