In 2022, 129 children became orphans of at least one parent following feminicide. Although their care is gradually improving, their daily life in rebuilding remains strewn with administrative, material and psychological obstacles.
“My two little sisters make me happy. If they weren’t here, I would have gone with mom.” Jenifer’s throat is tight, her voice is strangled. Tears flow down her cheeks when the 27-year-old young woman, whom everyone calls “Jeni”, talks about the suicidal thoughts that crossed her mind after her mother’s murder. Marie Thakizimana died at the age of 45 at her home in Rennes (Ille-et-Vilaine), a little over a year and a half ago. The 26th feminicide of 2022. Indicted for “murder of a spouse”, her husband will be tried next spring.
The couple’s two youngest daughters, Mithé and Monica, then aged 8 and 6, were at the home that night. When they arrived, the police found them sitting on the sofa. “They hid under the duvet, but they saw a little bit. And heard everything”explains Jeni, who obtained full parental authority over her half-sisters. “They say I’m their ‘mommy big sister’confides this beautician, who finds a smile amidst tears. I will fight for them, all the time.”
Orphans with a bumpy ride
According to the latest study on violent deaths within couples, in 2022, “129 children became orphans of father, mother, or both parents following 57 cases.” The Ministry of the Interior lists 29 children present at the scene, including 22 witnesses to the events. In total, “there are more than 1,000 orphans on the side of the road”assesses Sandrine Bouchait, founder of the National Union of Families of Femicide (UNFF), while “Envoyéspecial” devotes a program to this subject on Thursday, November 23. She also calls for specific victim status for these children whose journeys are sometimes bumpy.
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After the death of their mother, Mithé and Monica spent three days with doctors and psychologists at the Children in Danger Pediatric Reception Unit (UAPED) at Rennes hospital, as provided for in the care protocol. children of victims of femicide since 2022. “The quicker we act, the less serious the consequences. A person stays with them 24 hours a day, because they have just experienced a major trauma”explains Ernestine Ronai, president of the Observatory of violence against women of Seine-Saint-Denis, where the system was created in 2015. In this department, in seven years, the protocol has concerned 37 children, aged 6 months to 16 years.
The system has been widespread in France since April 12, 2022, the day Marie Thakizimana was killed. “In theory, anyone can apply it. But in practice, it requires a lot of work”observes Ernestine Ronai, who recognizes “regional disparities” in its application. The associations also denounce territorial inequalities and try to make up for the shortcomings. “We did not wait for the protocol to have our own mode of action”underlines Noël Agossa, founder and president of the Association of Families of Victims of Femicides (AFVF).
A protocol to protect children
For Jeni, taking in Mithé and Monica was obvious: “There’s no way they’re going anywhere else!” But she couldn’t do it overnight. “The proposal for the place of reception, based on the needs of the child and the assessment of those around them, is worked on by Children’s Social Assistance (ASE), in conjunction with medical advisors”, explains Philippe Astruc, public prosecutor of Rennes. He specifies that the decision is up to the children’s judge. Hence the interest in the protocol, which the magistrate considers to be “an airlock for protection and evaluation”.
“It allows us to take into account the earthquake and the shift that has just occurred in the child’s life.”
Philippe Astruc, public prosecutor of Rennesat franceinfo
When they left the hospital, Mithé and Monica spent several weeks in a home in Saint-Malo. Jeni was able to visit them. “It was very hard to see them leave, unfair”, protests the young woman. Yet a classic process: after a femicide, if the victim had minor children, the children’s judge must designate a trustworthy third party to whom they should be entrusted. This period allowed Jeni to adjust her working hours and find new accommodation, with three bedrooms and a garden, where the three half-sisters moved in in July 2022. In the meantime, the judicial court has delegated the exercise of parental authority in full to Jeni. “I found out on June 17, the day I turned 26!” exclaims the Rennaise.
The decision on the delegation of parental authority is decisive for the future of these children, who are orphaned by their mother or father, or even both, from one day to the next. It is issued after a hearing before a family court judge, which does not always go as planned. “Sometimes, only a few weeks after the incident, the victim’s family is confronted with the murderer”, notes Pauline Rongier. The lawyer, specializing in domestic violence, would like the law to change to establish separate hearings between families.
The blunders of the administration
Sometimes, children are entrusted to the family of the spouse suspected of the murder. It’s the case of the children of Assia Matoug, found dismembered in February, in the Buttes-Chaumont park, in Paris. Her husband confessed, two months later, to having strangled her. The eldest is placed in a home, while “the two youngest live with their paternal uncle”, deplores Pauline Rongier. The lawyer defends Fatima Bourbatache, the sister of Assia Matoug, who would like to obtain custody. But this Algerian woman did not have the right to accommodation and is struggling to find accommodation in France. “It’s the snake biting its own tail: without housing, she cannot obtain custody, and vice versa”denounces Pauline Rongier.
“It’s an additional trauma”points out Sylvaine Grévin, president of the National Federation of Victims of Femicides (FNVF), contacted by the family of Assia Matoug to obtain material, administrative assistance and comfort.
“When this happens to you, life falls apart.”
Sylvaine Grévin, president of the National Federation of Victims of Femicidesat franceinfo
After her mother’s feminicide, Jeni also turned to the FNVF. “She was totally lost. I put her in touch with our psychological service”, remembers Sylvaine Grévin, who collected 300 euros via a kitty. What “buy clothes for the little sisters because they left in their pajamas”, explains the president of the FNVF. The association mobilized in the same way for the family of Chahinez Daoud, whose spouse is accused of having shot her and then burned her alive in the street, in Mérignac (Gironde), on May 4, 2021.
“These children are the most forgotten. We have to fight for everything: psychological follow-up, registration on the Carte Vitale, at the CAF, insurance… It’s administrative violence”, observes Sandrine Bouchait, who took in her 5-year-old niece in 2017, after her sister’s feminicide. Compensation is also complicated: very often, the payment of sums allocated by the Guarantee Fund victims are late.
Additional trauma
Virginie Dhion also chose to transform her traumatic experience into commitment, within the UNFF. “I had the impression of being thrown into the wild. I collected clothes, my schoolbag and that’s it. No memories, no games”, testifies the one who was 15 years old in 1993, when her father murdered her mother and her older sister. Her youngest was 11 years old. The two sisters are separated the day after the tragedy: Virginie Dhion goes to live with an uncle while her little sister is entrusted to an aunt. “In one day, the house was sealed. It remained closed for more than a year”explains the forty-year-old, who did not receive any psychological support thirty years ago. “When we return the keys [du logement] to the families, we tell them: ‘Handle yourself’. Some find themselves cleaning up the crime scene.” is indignant Virginie Dhion, who has become a marriage and family therapist.
In Rennes too, Marie Thakizimana’s house remained closed. Jeni was still able to “recover the cuddly toys, a scarf and a souvenir” from his mother, largely thanks to his lawyer. Delphine Caro reports that she “found breaking seals to take a scooter and hastily pack bags”. As long as the investigation is ongoing, Jeni cannot return there. She is therefore waiting for the end of her mother’s partner’s trial to collect other things. In fact, this step will be crucial for Jeni. “I will be there to defend mom and the little ones, until the end”, she insists. His lawyer explained to him how the hearing would take place. The young woman can also count on associations. “Some testimonies can be destructive. The victim is sometimes smeared, we have to find fault in them”remarks Virginie Dhion.
“We are there to provide support, we do tailor-made services, according to the family’s request.”
Virginie Dhion, volunteer at the National Union of Femicide Familiesat franceinfo
In 1995, she did not have the opportunity to be prepared for this painful deadline. “I was 19 years old. I had to testify. It was violent, and at the same time, necessary”, she remembers with emotion. Jeni, for her part, hopes that the trial will allow her to “turn a page”. “A sentence like that cannot be repaired, but we will move forward,” she promises. Because his dearest wish is to “make the little ones grow up perfectly. So that mom is proud of what we become.”
The program “Envoyéspecial” devotes an evening to violence against women in an exceptional number broadcast Thursday November 23, from 9:10 p.m., on France 2. The same day, Sylvaine Grévin will unveil a 32-page practical guide in Rennes, which brings together all the resources necessary for families of victims of feminicide. First broadcast in the Brittany region, the latter will also be presented on Friday to Elisabeth Borne in Matignon.