No stress, everything is normal!
No, you are not “abnormal” because you don’t want to make love! If you’ve never wanted to, you’re an asexual person, and that’s OK. If you’ve enjoyed it for a long time but you experience more or less long and more or less frequent periods of low libido, that’s OK too! There is no standard in terms of sexuality despite the injunctions that we are constantly sent back. The figures according to which the French make love on average two or three times a week are only based on statements. And it’s well known, it’s those who talk about it the most who do the least… Joking aside, first of all, we have to play it down!
Ask the right questions
Am I having less fun with my partner(s) these days? Am I particularly stressed or depressed right now? Do I have pain during love? Do I desire my mate or companion less? The answers to these questions will help you better understand the reasons for this low libido. If you are in physical pain, go to the doctor or gynecologist. If you have a psychological block or realize that you are depressed, go to the psychologist and/or psychiatrist. If you feel less pleasure with your darling, again, communication will be of great help to you. Do not hesitate to tell him about your desires and fantasies, without reproaching him of course! If, on the other hand, you feel like you’re attracted to other people, but it’s your partner you no longer want, you need to think about the bigger picture.
Take time
When was the last time you were alone with yourself? We’re not talking to you about an evening where you molded in front of a series or the one where you were able to scroll quietly on Insta after clearing the table while the kids were (finally) in bed! No, look for the last time you took care of yourself, alone and then together. Don’t you remember? Now is the time to fix it! Desire is like everything, it needs to be worked on! Learn to unplug from work, screens and social networks from time to time to give yourself pleasure, not necessarily sexual by the way, just meditate, read, and why not, afterwards, caress yourself. It also applies to two of course! Do not hesitate to break the routine a little.
Remember, there are no rules when it comes to sex, just shared pleasure!
Postpartum sex, instructions for use
In this book, sexologist, midwife and clinical psychologist Caroline Le Roux provides clear and concrete answers to all the questions that pregnant women or those who have just given birth have about what is going on in their intimacy and in their heads. . She also offers exercises to reconnect with their body and their desire.
The truth about sex after baby, Caroline Le Roux, €16.95.
Generation Z, not a fan of sex?
According to a study carried out by Ifop for Sidaction last February, 44% of young French people aged between 18 and 25 had no sexual intercourse throughout 2021. This is slightly less than during confinement where they were 57%, but this is clearly more than 8 years ago when they were “only” 25%. The trend is the same in the United States. We now speak of “sex recession” to designate this phenomenon of increasing abstinence. What if they simply preferred quality over quantity?
See also: Sexo video: Doctor Sylvain Mimoun: All you need to know about the female orgasm
Louise Monteil & Anabelle Gentez