Confronting beauty standards, the author reflects on societal pressure surrounding body hair during a leg waxing session. This personal narrative highlights the struggle between self-acceptance and conforming to expectations. Through discussions with women like Marion and Louise, who grapple with the pain and absurdity of hair removal, the piece examines how these norms impact women’s perceptions of beauty and worth. The importance of challenging these standards and embracing one’s body is emphasized as a crucial step towards self-acceptance.
Confronting Beauty Norms: A Personal Reflection
“You didn’t want to feel clean?” This question from my beautician during my last leg waxing session lingered with me. After months of allowing my hair to grow, I felt a mix of emotions—self-acceptance and societal pressure. “It’s not dirty to have hair,” I replied, but she continued, explaining her need to feel “clean” and “smooth” for her husband. Curious, I asked, “Does he wax his butt?” She smiled, admitting he doesn’t, emphasizing that it’s not the same for men. This exchange left me pondering the societal expectations surrounding women and their bodies. Why do I feel the need to compromise my beliefs as I step into a beauty salon? Was sharing my thoughts with her even worth it when I ultimately succumbed to the discomfort of waxing, only to later admit, “Ah, it does feel good when they’re gone”? At 34, I’m exhausted from the constant scrutiny regarding my body hair, its color, and the societal judgment that accompanies it. “Life is too short to wax your pussy,” echoes a sentiment I often encounter.
Exploring Feminism and Body Hair
This topic is thoroughly explored in “Our Hair – My Year of Exploration of Female Hair,” a graphic novel by Lili Sohn published by Casterman. “Hair is everywhere, and while it may seem trivial, the time I dedicate to waxing and ensuring I’m immaculate is significant,” she writes. Her journey of self-discovery, which began at age twelve, took a turn when she decided to stop waxing for a year. Through her monthly reflections, personal anecdotes, and various hair removal techniques, she delves deep into the representation of women’s bodies in art. I had the opportunity to speak with Lili, who believes that the pressure to maintain hairlessness in order to be seen as a “perfect feminist” is as harmful as the societal expectations surrounding women’s bodies. “It’s a paradox,” she notes. Many women I spoke with echoed similar sentiments about the struggle between societal norms and personal choices.
Take Marion, 30, who feels trapped in the cycle of hair removal. “I shave everything everywhere,” she confides, recognizing the absurdity yet feeling compelled to conform. For Louise, 27, waxing has become a painful ordeal, both physically and mentally, due to societal conditioning that dictates women should be hairless. After experiencing severe skin issues from waxing, she realized the toll it took on her body. The discussions around waxing often reveal a deeper issue—how societal expectations can lead to violence against women, even if it’s not overt. Lili highlights that the time and money spent on hair removal often reflects a manipulation of women’s perceptions of beauty and worth.
In “Our Hair,” one character questions, “Don’t you have something more important to defend, like violence against women?” Lili often encounters this dismissive attitude. “Waxing represents the societal and patriarchal dictates imposed on women,” she asserts. As women navigate their personal histories with body hair, they often realize how they’ve been conditioned to fit a mold, sometimes spurred by comments from peers or family. Louise’s experience with permanent hair removal serves as a cautionary tale, one she now regrets. “Years later, I feel like I have the mark of patriarchy on my body,” she explains, grappling with the lasting effects of societal pressures.
These conversations reveal that many women feel pressured to conform to beauty standards dictated by society. The fear of judgment can lead to significant emotional distress, showcasing the importance of self-acceptance and questioning societal norms. As I reflect on my own experiences, I realize that it’s essential to challenge these expectations and embrace our bodies as they are, rather than conforming to an often unrealistic standard. The journey to self-acceptance can be fraught with challenges, but it’s a vital part of reclaiming our identities and bodies.