Do young people lack modesty?

My dream of keeping readers’ letters is finally coming true!

A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about my favorite pastime: walking in the evening and glancing briefly through the windows with the curtains not drawn. In response to this article, a reader – France, 64 years old – sent me an interesting email, which she ended by addressing more broadly the theme of modesty …

Read the post “Through Your Windows”

“I’m not one of those people who like to post my personal life on social media. This modesty does not seem to be shared by the younger generations: their private life is spread out generously on Facebook or Instagram. I can’t explain why and I find it a bit risky! Do you have an explanation? I want to understand. ”

I replied to France that I would be happy to find avenues for reflection.

In all transparency, I was delighted! For a moment, I would have the honor of putting myself at the service of the readership, like the Louise Deschâtelets and Manuel Hurtubise whom I esteem so much.

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Let us first settle a question: are today’s young adults less modest than their predecessors?

“Yes, but it’s part of a very long process”, replies Chiara Piazzesi, professor of sociology at the University of Quebec in Montreal (UQAM).

The one who is particularly interested in digital studies explains to me that in the West, since the end of the XIX^e century, we are revealing more and more the private sphere (which brings together the emotions, experiences, sexuality and the most intimate aspects of a person). In theory, we even speak of a process of “informalization”.

“With the end of certain social hierarchies, relationships have become much less formal,” the sociologist tells me. The XX^e century has opened the way to an increasingly important sharing of individual identity or of what one considers to be “one’s real self”… ”

And this real me is defined today, among other things, by our experiences, our emotions, even our gender identity or our sexual orientation. So that’s what we show off on social networks. Now, should we worry about it, as France is asking?

“The new generations often bring codes that are not necessarily accepted by the previous ones, but it is in this negotiation that the cultural change takes place”, underlines Chiara Piazzesi.

Isn’t that beautiful? However, it would be wrong to believe that this freedom is always accessible. As Chiara Piazzesi recalls: “There are circles in which revealing one’s gender identity or one’s sexual orientation is problematic. It’s not everyone’s self-expression paradise! There are still important dynamics of oppression. ”

Transparency is a privilege.

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Second stop to find answers to questions posed by France: the organization Les 3 sex *. Because if it is necessary to reflect on the modesty of young adults, it is impossible to miss their relationship with the body.

“It’s a generation that lives private space in a different way,” confirms Estelle Cazelais, sexologist and vice-president of the organization.

According to her, if young people reveal themselves more on social networks, it is in particular through activism. “Bodies are not equal. Some people are more likely to experience violence than others, because of their appearance, for example. Intersectional feminist struggles have helped create a movement for the naked body to have the right to inhabit public space without violence. Young adults are now giving themselves space to show off their bodies without apologizing. It goes beyond nudity… It is the social result of years of struggle! ”

Marion Bertrand-Huot, president of the organization, takes the leap: “For me, the notion of modesty boils down to a question: what can we show without the consent of the other? necessary so as not to create discomfort? On social networks, you must yourself visit a person’s intimate space to access their content. There is a certain pre-consent… The idea of ​​modesty therefore comes back to the person watching. For example, we tend to hypersexualize black women. We can judge that it lacks modesty more quickly, because of the way in which we perceive it. ”

The debate on modesty therefore involves one on inequalities and censorship: what should we hide from a body? Marion Bertrand-Huot also believes that young adults today invite us to question our preconceptions about nudity.

“Why aren’t male nipples associated with modesty, while anyone with breasts has to hide them?” I think generation Z is asking for the right to a different nudity… Afterwards, it’s hard to compare this desire with that of previous generations because we do not know what young people would have done with digital platforms in the years 1970, 1980 or 1990! ”

Which brings me to my own question (sorry, France, I’m an egoist): has modesty changed, in recent decades, on a strictly physical level?

According to Marion Bertrand-Huot, today, young people fight a lot so that we recognize that all bodies have the right to be desirable. We are in inclusion, but also in a certain sexual perspective. As if we struggled to see the body for the simple envelope it is …

“In America, we are made uncomfortable with the nudity of a 2 year old child at the beach,” she emphasizes.

What if we were inspired by previous generations to get to see the body beyond the sexual spectrum, with all the modesty that the latter requires? In return, we could draw inspiration from Generation Z, which teaches us that digital media allow us to take some control over our image …

A self-portrait can be good for esteem, as Estelle Cazelais emphasizes: “By publishing our portrait, we take ownership of the unveiling of our body and our beauty. We give ourselves the right to exist in the public space and we can come out more confident! ”

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So here it is: modesty has changed, but it has been changing for a long time now.

Young people reveal themselves more, but this is partly to claim their right to be there, to better define themselves and to create links with others based on their experiences.

Also, the selfie should not be of age.

Hoping to have answered your questions,

Rose-Aimée Fall Deschâtelets-Hurtubise