Lili has been in a relationship for 10 years with a man she loves deeply. She also has a lover, because she feels this need to explore, experiment, “try things”! And she doesn’t regret it, far from it.
In fact, she even wishes that for everyone, she repeats several times during our interview, in a café in the Plateau, on a recent Monday.
“I look at my friends, women around 50, it’s as if they no longer have a sex life. […] People need to try and experiment. […] These are the pleasures of life! We only have one life to live! »
Lili, in her late forties, has always been passionate about life. She dreams of her very first sexual encounter as “extraordinary”, and that is exactly what happens. “We were madly in love,” she remembers, “and it was very good. As I wanted. The whole kit! » She was 17 at the time, and the story lasted three years. She even discovers orgasm with this very first partner. “It was my first ever. »
In her mid-twenties, after a few little flirtations here and there, she met the father of her child. Again, sexually speaking, it’s “passionate”, and everything is really “very good”. She experiences a few “first times” with him as well, notably exploring cannabis before the act: “The orgasm lasts a very long time, you are more sensitive, more in ecstasy! » Except that the “tasks”, the “mental load”, the “daily” life finally got the better of their passion, and they left after 10 years.
In her mid-thirties, Lili has a new companion for a few months, her “worst” partner in life sexually, whom she ends up cheating on.
This is the first time I took action…
Lili
With whom ? A handsome Italian, married man found on an “infidelity site”. With this first lover, it’s “passionate” again. “I’ve never seen that,” she said, “a man who comes seven times in a row, erection, orgasm, let’s start again! In an hour and a half! ” And she ? “Not seven times,” she bursts out laughing, “but there was a lot of desire on both sides. »
Lili remembers that at the time, she wanted at all costs to find her G-spot. “I succeeded, but I found it difficult. You really have to let go, and we didn’t see each other enough. » After a few months, she ended this relationship, and her relationship as well.
Are you still following? It was 10 years ago. There, in a restaurant, Lili meets her current partner, a story which is initially intended to be one evening, but which ends up stretching over time. “It stuck,” she sums up. For good reason: “He is a good lover, he is kind, respectful. » And obviously very in love.
“With him, the G-spot worked,” continues our voluble interlocutor. I had an uncontrollable orgasm on top of him […] the flood ! “, she remembers. And then ? “He is very attentive, very generous,” she insists, “but… there is always a but! » Lili finds him a bit “traditional” in bed.
She likes to “try things,” as we’ve seen, and that’s what she’s done all her life, sir, a little less so. An example ? “I would like to give him a prostate orgasm,” she said. He is “not ready”. “I found my G-spot, why would you deprive yourself of that? It’s a shame ! “, she laments.
Lili would also like to try swinging, to get out of her “comfort zone”, he wouldn’t.
I’m in my peak, there are things I’d like to try, why should I deprive myself because he’s not ready?
Lili, late forties
It must be said that he suspects it: “I don’t like routine,” she says, “and he knows all that. »
And then during the pandemic, Lili had a click. She even had a flirtation with a colleague, with the “permission” of her boyfriend. Basically: “do what you have to do,” he told her. If the adventure was a failure (“really banal, platonic!”), it nevertheless “opened a door”, in Lili’s mind at least. She had to continue on this path, and she registered again on a site. No, without exactly asking permission. ” A second time ? It wouldn’t happen,” she knows.
And it was there, a few months ago, that she met her Mr. “X”, as she says, a still married man, who changed her life. “He awakened little things in me,” she smiles brightly, her eyes sparkling. This is exceptional ! We can make love for four, five hours! » They have extraordinary chemistry, and above all a shared desire to explore. “If I have desires, we talk about them, and we try, or not! »
An example ? A slap here, a spit there, be rough A little “. If she likes it? “Well yes, cuddle!” she says, beaming even more. Even anal penetration, she says, look, I have orgasms! » They try all kinds of things, film themselves, touch each other in the cinema, in the car. “It’s never the same and there’s always more desire!” » Oh yes, and he even agreed to let her “give” him a “prostatic orgasm”. “It was immediately open,” she said. For me, it’s a gift! »
Certainly, their adventure is dangerous and Lili knows it. “We just hope we don’t get caught…”
And his partner in all this? dare we. “I love him,” she replies. I have a lot of attachment, he is really a good person. But I can’t meet all his needs. And I think he knows he can’t fulfill all of mine. Should we feel guilty about this? »
Before leaving us, she adds: “This is the first time that I have given myself permission to be totally free,” she says. I can’t go back. I opened a Pandora’s box…”
* Fictitious first name, to protect anonymity
Write to us to tell us your story