Posted at 7:00 p.m.
Some prefer blondes, brunettes or round ones. But according to Valérie*, nobody likes women without breasts. Maintenance.
“It’s always the same story: men find me charming, interesting, funny, cute… but the missing chest is always a deal-breaker “, wrote us the single fifty-something, somewhere during the winter. She was reacting to the testimony of a certain Jean, victim of “sexual racism”, repeatedly rejected, with “I don’t want to go out with a black man…”.
Because Valérie also feels discriminated against. Although in its own way. However, after her cancer, and this double mastectomy that followed, not to mention everything she went through (because no, that’s not all, you’ll see), let’s say that she would do without it .
I can’t date you because you’re black, or because you don’t have boobs? But that goes beyond preferences. It becomes a prejudice!
Valerie, 51 years old
We understand that Valérie has a heavy heart. Behind her little bangs, her oversized glasses and above all her outspokenness, she simply can’t believe it. During an interview granted this spring, in a nice little cafe in the city center, she gets on fire here, launches a “frankly” there, half-outraged, half-discouraged.
She has already been through her share of hardships. After a rather fulfilled youth (from “serial monogamy” with an “always satisfying” sexuality, “not quite spicy”, she says laughing, but “more than vanilla”), she married at 30 with a sick man, whom she knows is doomed. “He had a chronic illness, she drops laconically, and it was certain that he would die of it. You will understand that she is therefore not only single, but above all a widow.
“It was a rational decision, she continues, a super funny man, I had never laughed like that, he lived day to day and we were really compatible. “In short, she found her account, we understand, even if she does not pour out too much on the question. That’s not exactly the point, after all.
In bed ? ” Complitly normal. Although over time, and illness, their sexuality has obviously evolved. “It was more mutual masturbation. But it was okay. It didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t a shock. “And then:” We had toys, she underlines, I never felt that it was a lack. »
What was a shock, however, was his illness. To her. A “lightning” cancer, at the turn of the forties. “It happened very quickly,” she says. And to end it so quickly, she didn’t want to take the slightest risk.
I chose removal. My husband was sick, I had two young children, I wanted to be sure to remove him [le cancer] the first time.
Valerie, 51 years old
Clarification: if she thought for a short time about reconstruction, it quickly proved to be too complicated and painful in her case. Instead, she opted for a chic tattoo to cover up her scar. “I’m covered from edge to edge, it’s a beautiful tattoo! she says proudly, uncovering herself slightly, revealing her tattooed cleavage.
Second precision: “And then, my sexuality, I know it: my breasts, it’s really not the most important part! “She talks about it at the time with her husband who tells her:” But I don’t care! You are alive! »
Then, a few months after her cancer, it was her husband’s turn to sink. “He had complications, and ended up in intensive care. And he never got out of it.
When he dies, Valérie is 45 years old. It was six years ago.
Since ? Here we are. After several long months of mourning, Valérie decides to “date”. It’s been several years that she no longer has any sexuality, she does not seek at all a “relationship”, but rather to “reclaim her body”. And speaking of body, she has no complex about her lack of breasts. On the contrary.
I think I’m super sexy with my tattoo!
Valerie, 51 years old
To find a lover (or two), no problem. Online, it’s done pretty quickly, thank you. Especially with younger men. “Maybe it was a kink,” she wonders. An older lady? »
Still, when she decides to settle down, it’s a whole different story. In summary, and to make it short (we spare you a story with a man of little experience, and another with a notorious manipulator), she is downright dismissed. “I thought about it, but it’s not for me!” “, we write to him, again and again. What ? “I can’t, a blonde without big tits.” Without a filter, we also explain this to him: “I love waterboating too much” (translation: in your favorite urban dictionary). Or why not this: “You’re really nice, but would you be ready to go and get breasts?” The best: “But would you date a guy in a wheelchair?” »
Note that these anecdotes are not only virtual (which Valérie does not hesitate to show us, the messages scrolling happily on her phone). A man at the restaurant, hearing the “news”, literally left her on the spot. “Besides, he was bald, and he had told me three times that he was taking Cialis! He left and left me there. I really felt like a rag…”
No, Valérie can’t believe it. She doesn’t hide it. She is “disgusted”. “Me, I’m an accomplished girl, I have a good job, I raised two fantastic humans, I went through all that without bitterness, but the fact that I have no breasts is enough to put a cross on me? »
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity.