“We were like ass and shirt!” The words of Audrey Borla, 20, contrast with the solemnity of the hall of the special assize court in Paris, Tuesday, September 27, on the fifth day of testimony from the civil parties. For an hour, at the bar of the trial of the attack of July 14, 2016, in Nice, she described the unconditional love she had for her twin sister, Laura, mowed down at the age of 13 and a half by the truck driven by a terrorist on the Promenade des Anglais.
“It was my mirror, it carried my character and I hers”continues the young woman, who describes a sœur outgoing, when she was rather reserved. “We did almost everything the same, except the way we spoke. Our way of doing things, of presenting ourselves. I was his intimate book, it was the love of my life, half of my life, 13 and a half years old , it’s short”breathes Audrey, long hair with blond highlights, eyes red with tears.
His voice echoes in the huge silent audience hall. A picture is projected. Two children laugh out loud on the beach. They must be 3 years old. Beside, their big sister and their big brother. All lined up, shovels and buckets in hand. “Her dream was my current job: doing aesthetics”, continues Audrey, who dreamed of being a hairdresser. After the attack, she reviewed her plans. “It’s my way of paying homage to him.”
The night of July 14, she remembers “like it was yesterday”. A festive evening, told the previous week in this same court of assizes by his father, his mother and his older sister. The fireworks end, the truck tumbles, lights out, at breakneck speed. Audrey, her friend and her mother barely have time to dodge it and jump onto the beach. His father, a few meters ahead, also manages to avoid the 19 tons. When everyone comes to their senses, Laura has disappeared. Yet she was arm in arm with her mother, a few seconds before. The cries of a distraught mother follow. The panic. The frantic searches on the promenade, where the bodies are quickly covered with sheets. After a few hours, Audrey returns home. On the way back, she feels an immense shock in her chest.
“I had this inability to breathe, I felt like I felt his last breath. This pain, it’s like my heart is bleeding.”
Audrey Borla, victim of the Nice attackfacing the special assize court
Three days pass. “An eternity.” Then she is received with her brother and her big sister, by a commissioner of whom she “refuses to pronounce the name”. He tells them: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your sister has been found, but the bad news is that she is dead.” Audrey exits the office in a split second and collapses. “I screamed, I screamed so much. I didn’t cry a tear because I didn’t want to believe it.”
The next day, the family is reunited in a room at the Pasteur hospital to be followed by psychologists after the announcement of the tragedy. “I still remember seeing my mother sitting on the bed. I walked into the room, I didn’t even take a step, she looked at me and she shouted so loudly, ‘Look, that’s my daughter She’s here, it’s Laura! She’s not dead!'”
“Today we are in 2022, I am 20 years old, it has been six years and I have a lot of trouble moving forward”, explains the young woman, remembering her last year of college, in which she had become “the twin who lost her sister”. Somehow, she manages to get her certificate, then her CAP and her professional baccalaureate. But the suicidal desires follow her. Thanks to the help of her child psychiatrist, she was able to leave them behind. The anger remained. “She will never leave me.” Today she says to herself “very detached” from his family. “I blame everyone for everything, I just do what I want, I get into a lot of trouble with my parents.”
“Anger gnaws at me, more than pain.”
Audrey Borla, victim of the Nice attackfacing the special assize court
Audrey is on antidepressants, battling binge eating to “to make up for the lack of [sa] sister”. She struggles to fall asleep, constantly needs company. “I have the impression of missing my life as soon as I am alone, I need the constant presence of my companion”says the young woman.
But “hope brings life”, she persuades herself. Hands clinging to the desk, straight, she concludes: “I am 20 years old, I am a victim of terrorism. Living, for me, is not free. It is for her that I live, even if at times, I wanted to stop everything.”