At the time, William Emard did not understand why the American gymnast Simone Biles had withdrawn from almost all of her events in Tokyo last summer.
“To be honest, I was like, ‘You are at the Olympics, the pinnacle of competition, and you decide to let go?’ ”
The Laval gymnast himself had to put aside a first Olympic participation when Gymnastics Canada refused to attend the last qualifying competition in Brazil, where the COVID-19 situation was causing concern.
So yes, to come back to Simone Biles, she was there at the Games, what did she have so much to complain about?
Emard was unaware then that he himself would have, two months later, to fight his own demons. In his case, they took the form of anxiety attacks and panic attacks. A breakup after a relationship of more than four years and dropping out of his university studies in engineering plunged him into a negative “spiral” that followed him into the gym.
The 21-year-old, very organized, very busy, suddenly lost his bearings. About ten days before his departure for the World Championships, nothing was going well.
His physical trainer Maryse Allard is well aware of this. His last weight training session before the Worlds therefore did not take place. “Instead, it was a one-hour pep talk, sitting like an Indian, in the middle of the gym,” says the gymnast.
She suggested that he do what seemed completely illogical to the young man at the dawn of the final preparatory course: isolate himself at the family cottage on the shores of Lake Champlain. Emard spent the weekend there walking, reading and writing. “It allowed me to refocus and recharge my batteries. It really put the switch back on. ”
On the eve of the camp, he wrote to the coach of the men’s team to inform him of his anxiety attacks. He met him the next day and offered his full support. Before he left, his sports psychologist advised him to lower his expectations as he would if he returned from an injury. Maybe a ringside final wasn’t that realistic.
PHOTO CHARLY TRIBALLEAU, AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE ARCHIVES
William Emard in action at the Kitakyūshū Worlds
In Japan, a surprise awaited Emard. Due to injuries to his teammates Félix Dolci and René Cournoyer, he would be the sole Canadian representative in the individual all around. Small rise in stress: “I’m a guy who asks a lot. Even if people tell me there is no pressure, I put it down, it’s inevitable. ”
On the last day of training on the eve of qualifying, his nerves gave way. “I did a jump and landed completely on my back. It wasn’t even close. This jump destroyed the confidence that I had somewhat built in the previous days. The autoflagellation followed, “How bad can I be!” What am I doing here ! Not even able to seize the opportunity offered to me. The negative spiral mentioned above.
Returned to ground training, he “completely freaked out”.
I couldn’t even get started. I had been motionless in the corner for 10 seconds, I wasn’t leaving to make my line, I was just staring at the corner without moving.
William emard
To persist was to risk injury. Emard has signaled to his coach Adrian Balan that there is no point in continuing. “Adrian left me alone, which I needed at the time. I dressed and sat in the gym. I did: there is nothing working this morning. ”
Upon his return to the hotel, he put his feelings down on paper and four hours later, in the afternoon practice, he had become an “elite gymnast” again.
The next day, he qualified for the all-around final, reserved for the top 24. He also reached the final on the rings and the vaulting table placing in the top eight on both events.
“In the final, I was even more focused on my performance, while keeping in mind to enjoy the moment, to have fun. It was really: do your best, enjoy it to the max, you’re not even supposed to be there. Honestly, I was just really in my zone. ”
” Pride “
By finishing eighth, Emard set a historic high for Canadian men’s gymnastics in eventing. The first Canadian to reach the ringside final, he finished seventh the next day. At the vault table, he finished eighth. He was the first to participate in this final since Kyle Shewfelt, bronze medalist in 2003.
Two days after returning home, Emard was still floating on a cloud after his performances. Sitting in a café in Rosemont, he had a lot to tell about a sometimes complex sport that he would like to make better known in Quebec.
“With Félix, René and our three other teammates, we put Canada on the map a bit. It does a lot of good. Yes, I’m the one who finished eighth in the eventing and who made the final in rings and vault, but it could have been René, it could have been Félix. Just to see the flag of Canada in the top 8, it was a source of pride. “
PHOTO HIRO KOMAE, AASSOCIATED PRESS ARCHIVES
“I’m a guy who asks a lot,” says William Emard.
Emard hadn’t thought of bringing up his anxiety attacks in this interview, and besides, didn’t open up for an hour.
“When the anxiety and panic attacks happened, yes, I thought about Simone Biles. I also thought of Jonathan Drouin. Then there was Carey Price… It is a reality that we should no longer refuse to see. Something as important as the physical. ”
A reality that many people experience, but of which we speak little, or which we speak of as a somewhat shameful secret… “Jonathan Drouin had retired for“ personal reasons ”. Carey Price, we don’t really know. Simone Biles, she was “mixed up” in the air. A subject on which we have not finished returning. If I could shed some light on it, so much the better. ”