First-generation migrant women often remain in the background, their stories and contributions overlooked. Many, like the mother of educator Tahsim Durgun, navigate challenges such as limited language skills and unrecognized qualifications while supporting their families. Despite their sacrifices and resilience, systemic barriers hinder their integration and access to opportunities. These women’s experiences highlight their vital yet silent role in shaping their children’s futures, embodying strength, love, and the complexities of migration.
The Silent Strength of First-Generation Migrant Women
Picture yourself cooking meals at a clinic where your children dedicate their lives to saving others. You find yourself in an unfamiliar role, once a skilled educator now overshadowed by your daughter’s talents in teaching. Your journey from your homeland was driven by a wish for her brighter future, and you played a pivotal role in her educational journey. But what about your own aspirations and identity?
Unveiling the Stories of Migrant Mothers
First-generation migrant women often find themselves living in the shadows, their contributions overlooked. Take for instance the mother of aspiring educator and internet personality Tahsim Durgun (@tahdurr), who, though rarely heard in his comedic videos, has now inspired him to honor her with a heartfelt book titled ‘Mama, please learn German – Our Integration Attempt in a Closed Society.’ This work captures the untold narratives of immigrant women in Germany who have struggled to find their footing.
These women frequently inhabit the margins of society. The Durgun family’s neighborhood, a stark environment, is the only space where Tahsim’s mother receives any acknowledgment, despite her limited proficiency in the dominant language. Yet, she is referred to as a ‘language genius’ and ‘the poet queen of the block,’ her Kurdish language imbued with lyrical beauty. During summer gatherings, she transforms the neighborhood meadow into a vibrant oasis, sharing stories and laughter, fostering a sense of community.
When asked about her limited German language skills after three decades, she reflected on the barriers faced by many mothers like her. While she raised four children at home, the opportunity for language acquisition often arises in the workplace—an avenue she has not been able to access due to her responsibilities.
Access to language courses and the labor market remains a significant challenge for many immigrant women, compounded by a lack of childcare options. Dr. Niklas Harder from the German Institute for Integration and Migration Research (DeZIM) highlights that newcomers often miss out on ‘implicit institutional knowledge’—the essential insights that facilitate integration into society. This lack of support contributes to the alarmingly low rates of childcare enrollment for migrant children under three, despite evidence of high educational aspirations among families with a migration background.
The struggles faced by these women are often compounded by their residency status and childcare responsibilities, which limit their ability to learn German. This often leads to misconceptions about their capabilities, as illustrated by Tahsim’s mother’s experiences in her pursuit of a new life in Germany.
Many migrant women arrive with valuable qualifications, yet these are frequently unrecognized in their new home. For instance, Mari’s mother, Milena Petrosyan*, was an elementary school teacher in Armenia but now works in Germany as an unqualified caregiver. While she sacrifices her dreams for her daughters’ futures, Mari and her siblings encourage their mother to prioritize her own well-being, even as she selflessly supports them.
Hibba Tun Noor Kauser, a politician, reflects on her own mother’s resilience. After fleeing Pakistan in 1999, Kauser’s mother raised her four children alone, navigating the complexities of single parenthood amidst the challenges of migration. Despite these hardships, she ensured that all her children attained academic success. However, her inability to secure employment due to her status has prevented her from gaining German citizenship, highlighting the systemic barriers faced by many migrant families.
Minire Varol, a Turkish guest worker in the sixties, also faced the heart-wrenching decision to leave her twin daughters with their grandparents while she worked to provide for her family. Her relentless dedication to her children’s education illustrates the sacrifices made by migrant mothers, who often bear the weight of guilt and longing for the family they left behind.
As Tahsim Durgun poignantly expresses, his mother is the driving force behind their family’s success, embodying the strength, sacrifice, and love that characterize the journeys of many immigrant women. Her story, like those of countless others, serves as a reminder of the invisible yet profound contributions made by these women in shaping the futures of their families.