A diagnosis of Olympic fever

Every two years, a planetary virus crosses our couch potato bodies and manifests itself in the form of great chills, cardiac arrhythmias, uncontrollable tears and guttural cries worthy of Louis Cyr lifting a 4092-pound platform with his back.

It’s Olympic fever, which bites hard and shortens our nights by several hours. Do you suffer from it? Me, seriously. This stuff is even more contagious than… ah, then no, let the COVID-19 gags be. No longer able to hear them. Now here’s how to make a (positive) diagnosis of this five-ringed global virus.

You cry even more than usual in front of your screen. Because the golden career of snowboarder Maxence Parrot, 27, beats any Hollywood sports film. What an inspiring story, featuring a friendly athlete from Bromont knocked out. by a cancer three years ago and which crushes all his adversaries. You can not make that up.

You cry even more in the defeat of our favorite representatives. Justine Dufour-Lapointe’s heartbreaking fall in the bumps, her sister Chloé who comforts her, but above all, the honest and moving interview that Justine gave at the bottom of the slope resulted in a magnificent demonstration of humility and courage.

You understand – without judging – why analyst Marianne St-Gelais also shed tears after skater Kim Boutin’s sparkling bronze medal in the 500m. Poignant moment of these Olympic Games in Beijing, without forgetting the elegance and eloquence of the silver medalist Mikaël Kingsbury, another champion with a heart of gold. Which class !

For the past week, you’ve been speaking to the “we”, with a Canadian pride that surprises you. We won a medal in mixed team ski jumping! We beat the Americans in women’s hockey! We should buy a red scarf embroidered with the letters CACA!

You’re thinking of recording Alain Goldberg’s whispered comments to figure skating for a future ASMR video. It’s hypnotic and bewitching until the moment of a triple lutz and he cries: RE-U-SSI!

You became bilingual faster than with Duolingo by watching the slopestyle and big jump (big air) events on Radio-Canada.

Backside double cork 1260 Where triple cork 1620without forgetting the taking into safety or position goofythese technical expressions will eventually have equivalents in French, one day.

I fully agree with you: this English vocabulary of slopestyle grazes the eardrum. The Office québécois de la langue française (OQLF) offers translations like leap on wall side toes (for frontside air), position in heel support (for backside), corkscrew (for cork) and snowboarder right foot forward (for goofy ). Who will dare to use them on the air?

You suddenly want to get up at dawn, or train in the middle of the night with a headlamp, in order to feel this feeling of overcoming so well staged in the Petro-Canada commercials. These symptoms will not last, rest assured.

You detect urban poetry in the disused Chernobyl-type industrial setting where the big jump events take place. These gray chimneys and these cooling towers, it’s a very brutalist approach, you say with the tone of a Sunday art critic who wears Denis Gagnon clothes.

You feel the need to have your coffee with Jacinthe Taillon, Dominick Gauthier and Hassoun Camara, who always have intelligent and relevant discussions. A medal for them.

You zap frantically and wonder why Radio-Canada doesn’t post the names of featured sports descriptors and analysts more often. It’s very rare that we follow a competition from the beginning, where the host identifies the commentators, until the end. This little reminder – in mortise – would be nice.

You discover the existence of RDS2, a channel to which you have subscribed for ages, but which you very rarely tune into. Hello, RDS2.

You renewed your gym membership, which reopens on Monday. Your new set of sportswear is already chosen. These symptoms of euphoria will not last, alas.

You become a specialist in highly technical sports in the space of five minutes. Skier X badly negotiated the turn before entering the bowl! Skater Y has not completed the rotation of her triple axel, let’s see! The Italians will be unbeatable at curling this year!

You feel like moving, putting on tube skates, going outside or descending a mountain, this is the most magical effect of this Olympic fever. Enjoy it. Because this buzz alpine will decrease in about ten days. Go, go, go. This shout of encouragement is brought to you by (name of a popular credit card). Back in the studio with Marie-José Turcotte.