(Montreal) The notion of family has expanded over time; once reserved for a couple of heterosexual parents and their children, the term applies today to a group of people whom the heart has chosen. With this enlargement of the family nucleus, the reasons for calling on a professional in helping relationships also vary.
Marriage and family therapist (TCF) for nine years and social worker for more than twenty years, Anny Veillette notes that the reasons for calling on her services have evolved over time.
“In general, people are more sensitive to their life as a couple, she mentions, as the Week of Marriage and Family Therapists of Quebec begins this Monday. Before, we consulted for problems with children. There are still requests of the kind, but people consult more by making the difference between the situation with the children and the state of their life as a couple. »
“There is more and more demand; people realize that there is no reason to be ashamed to seek help or advice for their mental health, the health of their couple and their sexual health”, adds Joanie Heppell, sex therapist and president of her professional order.
In doing so, couples who choose to seek help from a therapist usually do so out of a genuine desire to improve their relationship.
“Half a century ago, couples seldom separated because outside pressure forced them to stay together. Today, people stay in relationships for internal reasons; there is no more this pressure”, affirms the DD Christine Grou, president of the Order of Psychologists of Quebec.
The evolution of mores also brings new challenges within couples.
“Obviously, certain practices persist, such as communication problems, conflict management, the relationship with the children or with the family of our partner, or sexuality, lists Abdelghani Barris, TCF. But the ways of being in a couple have changed, and we have moved from traditional unions to more open, more fluid forms, which necessarily generate issues that were not so present before. »
“There are several family models that bring new realities, not only for partners, but for children and other family members,” continues D.D Group. But regardless of the model chosen, constants remain: there must be respect for others, good communication, common fundamental values and a bond that unites. This meaningful attachment is a protective factor for mental health. »
The pandemic as an exacerbation factor
The COVID-19 pandemic has played an important role in exacerbating certain couple or family problems, particularly due to confinement. “It really isolated people. I have couples who have been together for two years with less activity, less stimulation or meetings, and that has impoverished their relationship, ”says M.me watch.
A Léger survey commissioned by the Order of Social Workers and Marriage and Family Therapists of Quebec (OTSTCFQ) in 2022 also indicated that 30% of Quebecers had observed an increase in tension or conflict within their couple or their relationship. family since the start of the pandemic.
In other cases, confinement has allowed couples to become aware of certain problematic elements and to begin a therapeutic approach in prevention, supports Ms.me Heppell. “It allowed a certain perspective, a new look at the relationship and in many cases, the couple chose not to wait for the problems to exacerbate. I see it very positively,” she says, especially since “people tend to wait 6 to 7 years before asking for help,” which is often too late.
Finally, some couples have found themselves strengthened by confinement. “Studies have shown that people who were well in a relationship were protected during the pandemic, but those who were unhappy or dissatisfied with their relationship were more vulnerable. We therefore understand that the pandemic has exacerbated pressures that already existed when there were any, “says DD Group.
Variable waiting times
When she reads in the newspapers that there are waiting times of one to two years to consult, the therapist practicing in Quebec cringes. “It only discourages couples in pain from thinking that they won’t get the help they need when it’s possible to find a place for them,” she says.
At the height of the pandemic, Mr.me Veillette had decided to keep a waiting list, which turned out to be useless since customers always ended up finding somewhere else. “Even if we are full, along the way, there are couples who stop or who complete their process,” she explains. So there are always places available. »
The pandemic and the increase in requests, coupled with a lack of qualified professionals, still explain the wait time faced by couples in need of help, argues Mr. Barris.
“There is not enough training for the TCF, and there are not enough who are trained in Quebec, and even in Canada,” he says.
Moreover, the title of TCF is not recognized in the health and social services network; in doing so, the momentum of the profession in Quebec is slowed down, believes the OTSTCFQ. As a result, many marriage and family therapists also practice under another professional title they hold, such as psychologist, social worker, nurse, sexologist, doctor or lawyer.
DD Grou, however, believes that the boom in demand caused by the pandemic is in the process of being reduced. “I have some reason to believe that things are calming down a bit,” she said in an interview. But it’s more at the level of private practices; in the public network, there is a shortage of about 900 psychologists to meet the demand. »
Teleconsultation, which has been widely used for three years, has made it possible to take care of a clientele who were waiting, for lack of services nearby. “Now, we are no longer obliged to find a professional who is in his city”, continues Mme Group.
This dispatch was produced with financial assistance from the Meta Exchange and The Canadian Press for News.