Zaho de Sagazan was built, she tells us in front of a mirror, “because I was a little girl who had no self-confidence and who discovered that music was the only place where I could trust Me. Where I didn’t allow myself to love myself because I thought I was filthy, the artist that I was allowed myself to. And all of a sudden, I was taking postures in the mirror that I didn’t have when I looked at myself as a human – it would be a lie to say that I was born with this aura. When I’m on stage or in front of the camera, I’m someone else. »
At just 23 years old, the French singer-songwriter and composer is showered with praise following the launch last week of The symphony of lightning, his first career album. Released in recent months, the videos of the two excerpts boosted the release of the album: that of the troubling The sleepers who revealed, on drawn images, his magnetic and serious voice and a text that is just as magnetic. Then, that of Sadness where we discovered her, her gaze piercing under the platinum mop of hair, her powerful, theatrical gestures. What a head she has, Zaho!
It was not out of narcissism that the musician spent so much time in front of the mirror, “but because of my good student side, of the one who wants to be perfect, who wants to be intense, interesting, when I had no charisma. If I had been narcissistic, I don’t think I would have become an artist because I would have felt good about myself and I wouldn’t have anything to say. »
“I didn’t love myself,” says Zaho, joined by videoconference. “For me, I was the opposite of feminine. I had a lot of trouble with my femininity, I was anything but feminine. It made me very sad and broke a lot of my confidence. There was everything that didn’t make me feminine—that is, my deep voice, my droopy eyes, a little plump, a little beefy. And besides, my name is Zaho, a name that is not gendered…”
Zaho-Agathe Le Moniès de Sagazan is her real name. His father, Olivier de Sagazan, is a renowned sculptor, painter and performer. He had five daughters, including Zaho and her twin sister who doesn’t look much like him, she says, but whom she adores.
“Obviously, in a way, we are alike. We have the same values, we understand each other, etc. But where I am very into expression, she tells stories by writing scenarios. Shadow work, the opposite of that of the singer. Then, I have always found her sublime”, thus complicating her relationship to her own femininity. “I have four lovely sisters who wear a size 36 and have high-pitched voices, whereas I wear a size 42 with a voice like that. And in fact, I immediately saw that artistically, it had strength. My gaze on the screen can be interesting, my deep voice in a microphone, too. I tried to turn my weaknesses into strengths. »
I took postures in the mirror that I didn’t when I looked at myself as a human
She reconciled with herself through song, which she has been writing since the age of fifteen. “I compose piano-voice, all the time; a song should be enough for that, then I dress it electronically. » Synthetic song, but song first: on the cover of The symphony of lightningwe distinguish her manipulating what seems to be a modular synthesizer, but these orchestrations (conceived with her two accomplices from Nantes, Alexis Delong and Pierre Cheguillaume), sometimes more danceable, serve to dress up what, in the end, has always been a song in the tradition of that of Barbara, to name only this influence.
“I like drama and, for once, Barbara inspired me a lot on that,” comments Zaho. That’s what it says The symphony of lightning : I prefer to go under the storm than towards the sun. I like to laugh a lot, I am a very sunny person, but I find that negative emotions are deep and reveal things in us that happiness does not reveal. I’m even quite passionate about sadness: I like to talk a lot with friends when they’re well, but also when they’re not well because it’s in these moments that I discover lots of sides to them that touch me a lot. I believe that we are even more sensitive and true in our negative moments. »
That pretty much sums up what the album is about, where she sings the Sadness, The fountain of blood And My body. The sleepers is inspired by what her friend experienced “because I had never experienced love before, let alone violent love. My friend went through all that in high school, I witnessed it. I think I write songs because I need to understand. Regarding my friend, the story could have ended terribly and I was very angry with myself: how come I didn’t react more? I needed to understand why it happened like that and that the problem was neither with her nor with me, but with this manipulative boy. »
In contrast, there is this adorable The boys, moment of lightness of the album, in which Zaho lists her “crushes”, as she calls them. “It’s one of the oldest compositions on the album,” she explains. I was 17, never had a love affair, only small crushes, and I realized how much I have no preference in the types of men. I can like any guy and find there’s good in everyone. I don’t think I could have written it today since at the time I was dreaming all the time. »
“And know that the only people who love this song are only boys. They may need to be told that we love them or to be reassured, I don’t know. »
The symphony of lightning by Zaho de Sagazan is available now from Universal Music.