The Press offers you a weekly testimony that aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: Claude*, 80 years old.
She liked it. A lot. Often. Except that he became impotent. Story of an arrangement.
He speaks in the past tense because his girlfriend, let’s call her Marie*, now has Alzheimer’s disease. No doubt she still likes it, but the story doesn’t say so. Because she no longer recognizes Claude*, in fact. But this is another story.
Claude, he, with his cane, his big blue eyes and his 80th birthday, remembers everything. And he wants to tell his story, exactly a week after the testimony of a certain Laurence *, remember, who said on the contrary not to appreciate at all.
Our man gave us an appointment in his chic residence for the elderly in the northern crown, in a room carefully reserved for confiding. It must be said that a few days before our interview, at the next table, people were talking about this section between residents. Like what sexuality does not necessarily die out with age. But that, too, is another story.
That of Claude, therefore, is very “special”, he begins, between two bites of toast. “People will say it’s daring: we had an open mind, both of us. »
But that hasn’t always been the case. As proof, his very first sexual relationship was on his wedding day. “We were silly! ” And then ? And then the marriage lasted 10 years. And it’s after that he “disillusioned”, as he says. Or that he met a “blonde” who “dishonested” him, rather. But no, it’s not about Mary. Not yet.
“She was a married woman, and her husband knew. She was the one who taught me to go to a nudist camp […]. She made me discover new ways to make love, without hiding. […] It was the 1970s, there was an open-minded movement! »
This is how, at 35, Claude understands:
Sex is not a secret, but a way to seek pleasure.
Claudius
A whole “revolution”, he underlines: “From silly on his wedding night to: heille, don’t be embarrassed! »
But that’s not all. This story lasts for a while (three years), then Claude meets another woman (still not Marie), with whom he spends another 10 years. “I loved her, I adored her, she had all the qualities,” he said. You know: admiring and desiring is very important for a man…”
Still, one night she “forgot” to come home. We get the metaphor. Claude confirms: “Me, I said to myself: it’s love at first sight, it won’t last. So I said, “Go out with him twice a week.” »
For what ? “When we talk about open-mindedness, he replies quite simply. And then I didn’t want to lose her! »
Except that it wasn’t enough, and Madame ended up leaving (with the other).
End of the story ? The beginning, in fact. Because it is then, and armed with all this mid-forties experience, therefore, that Claude, then a university professor, finally meets his Marie. Their story lasts 20 years, and would probably still last, if not for his illness.
When they meet, she is very clear, and let’s face it, direct: “Me, what I like is penetration!” he remembers. And she loves sex. It seems a little bit. There is no question of doing nothing on a weekend! »
All is well for five to ten years, until the couple is struck by nothing less than a “tragedy”: “I have no more erections, no more ejaculations”, and this, because of his diabetes which makes all the drugs in the world tried ineffective. “I feel hurt, punished, diminished. […] Embarrassed, embarrassed, embarrassed…”
“Nothing more, more pantout,” he insists. But for her, penetration is very important. ” SO ? So she makes him an “offer”, he continues, and without transition, something that looks like this: “You allow me to meet other men, but you will always be there, next to me. »
Reaction ? ” Yes ! I was open-minded! »
Why would I punish her? Who am I to say: I have no more erections, you will deprive yourself for the rest of your life?
Claudius
They live their first experience in a “libertine bar”, remembers Claude, somewhere corner Rosemont and Christophe-Colomb. He sees himself again signaling to a “sir”, and seeing everything “very quickly” happen. No, he’s not jealous. Not at all. “We agreed that I am open-minded, he repeats. I love her, my girlfriend, I’m not going to prevent her from living because I have an erection problem! […] Yes, I still have my two hands and my mouth, but what she wants is real penetration! »
Claude takes the coordinates of the guy in question and invites him back to dinner. “He had class. And me, if my girlfriend is fine, I’m fine. […] Have I become a bit of a voyeur? Maybe. But I found it beautiful. A couple making love, I like that. »
And his Mary too. And tell each other, on top of the market. The red ensemble she wore, the libertine cruise they did, then this new couple he invited, and the blue nightgown she put on, he remembers everything. In the smallest details. “And it was our two great adventures,” he says, after a good hour of confidences.
It is that more than 15 years ago, the disease caught up with her. And his Mary was placed. “I knew that there, she dated another man. She told him, without the slightest embarrassment. “But why would she have any?” »
Today, and for several years, Claude is alone. And yes, it weighs on him. “I would like that, a blonde. The pleasure of sticking together, the tenderness. There are hundreds of people here, I kissed two or three, but no more. […] It’s weird how little desire all these women have! »
As for him, one thing is certain, he believes: “When you love a woman, love her properly. (And try not to lose your erection!)”
* Fictitious first names, to protect their anonymity