The tragedy that occurred in Laval is difficult to conceive, even for an adult. How do you talk to your child about it? Here are some ways to broach the subject with a toddler.
Should we talk about it right away?
It’s better, answer the DD Christine Grou, president of the Order of Psychologists of Quebec. On television, the images of the tragedy which occurred in Laval turn in loop. Everybody talks about it. Difficult to escape, even for a child. And what we especially want to avoid is that he learns the drama from his little friends the next day at school. “Avoiding talking about it is not necessarily a solution when you know that the event is major and that the child is going to hear about it”, explains the DD Group. He will be more reassured to learn it from a trusted adult, such as a parent.
What to say ?
The first step is to ask your child what he knows about the tragedy. What did he understand? How does he feel ? From his answers, we explain the essential (“something very rare and very sad happened…”), avoiding tragic and bloody details. If the child asks questions, he is answered to the level of his understanding. And we reassure him, of course. “The main concern of the child is: “can this happen to me”? “says the DD Christine Grou. Thus, it is good to remind him of the many protective factors such as his parents, his educators and the police. “Often the concerns subside relatively quickly,” says Dr.D Christine Grou.
How about an older child?
With a 9 or 10 year old, the explanation may be more elaborate, but the same principle applies. “We question him on what he knows and what he understands. We give him space to express himself,” she says. Above all, it is important not to overexpose the child to images of the tragedy, underlines the psychologist. “He doesn’t need to watch the news. A child’s brain is very impressionable. It does not relativize, ”she explains.
My child is anxious to go to daycare. What to do ?
It’s time to drop the little one off at daycare and he refuses to leave you? It’s normal, reassure the DD Group. When a child is worried or anxious, it is important to welcome their concerns and not minimize them. “We can tell him that it’s normal to be afraid, but that the danger has passed and the person has been arrested,” she exemplifies. If possible, you can shorten your work day to pick up your child a little earlier or give him a small object that will remind him of his parents during the day. And if the child is very anxious, “it is better to warn his educator so that she can take over,” concludes the psychologist.