The other day, on Saint-Laurent Boulevard, in the company of a friend, a Vietnamese homeless man approached us, speaking in a French devoid of verbs. It was a question of kindness, I think. I asked him his name, then I threw out the word ” ubuntu “, “I am because you are.” He seemed to appreciate the concept.
A few moments later, he came to join me at my car to give me a packet of “Instant (sic) ginger drink with honey”. Huu Duc Pham, 51, never wanted me to pay him: “Friend and money, right!”
I always have my yellow Foodjoy ginger drink packet in front of me on my desk, as a reminder that a man on the street is also a man of the world. It was important for him to offer it to me. Ubuntu. Because I recognized Huu’s humanity, he reached out to mine. I savored that fleeting moment of instant connection stolen from time. These moments reassure me. We are connected.
Last week, still on Saint-Laurent, in the same area, I was heading to the theater with my mother; a reader of Duty addressed me to express his joy at meeting me. He no longer knew what words to use to convey his gratitude: “You are better than all the experiences of mush ! »
We had a good laugh. And I thought to myself that this page, Zeitgeist, is legal while the mushnot yet (unless you are very ill, which would be unnecessarily complicated).
Spontaneous gestures of humanity between strangers always move me because they escape profiteering and productivity; they are still gratuitous. They have a kinship with elegance.
Yes, it is ubuntu by the respect that emerges from it, but this African philosophy is not limited to that.ubuntu is much broader than a compliment or a gratuitous gesture; we could even talk about a path of life and growth. Beyond personal growth, it is a path that goes to meet the other. It is still necessary that this other deigns to raise his eyes. Zombies are not always who we think. I came across two this morning, one of which was walking mechanically behind his little girls, all playful, his gaze riveted to his hand. A screen led him by the end of the nose.
Almost nothing has yet been written about kindness, and that is why there remains a huge future for writing.
THE zeitgeist is in withdrawal, in ego wars on social networks, in cocooningtaking refuge behind our screens, with earphones and headphones in the street. Each at home, each in themselves, each for themselves. Approaching others has become surprisingly bold, especially since the pandemic that has kept us two meters apart. This distance seems to have become embedded in our psyches.
L’ubuntuon the contrary, connects, unites forces, whereas our Western culture divides, opposes; it cultivates the “difficult to integrate”, it sanctifies the “ self-made person “, self-sufficiency, independence, while we are all the result of our heritage, of the people we have met, of what has built us. No one is an island. Through me speak all the people I have listened to tell their stories.
My neighbor Jean-Jacques is ubuntu without knowing it, always a kind word, a smile, a thoughtfulness, a muffin hung on my door if he knows I’m feeling down, a helping hand: “People want to have everything and give nothing,” he says. Jean-Jacques has cultivated the intelligence of the heart. He gives without counting.
Oddly enough, we often distrust good people. We fear that we are in debt or that their kindness hides some kind of agenda.
In Mungi Ngomane’s book, Ubuntu. I am because you arethe granddaughter of Nobel Peace Prize winner Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who wrote the preface to the book, spreads the philosophy ubuntu in 14 lessons. This same philosophy allowed Nelson Mandela to forgive his former jailer, Christo Brand, and invite him to his inauguration dinner as president of South Africa. “It takes strength and determination to discern the goodness in a stranger, or in a person who does not seem to have our best interests at heart,” Mungi concludes.
To tell you the truth, my feelings towards “ubuntu” are so deep that I got it tattooed on the inside of my right wrist.
She points out that despite the horrors that our minds are saturated with, through the news and on our screens, “every day, everywhere, a million small (and large!) acts of love, devotion, generosity and solidarity take place, which represent and celebrate our humanity.”
Forgiveness, showing gratitude, seeing beyond the label, accepting reality, knowing how to listen, here are some lessons ubuntu. And if I had to choose just one, this one gleaned from the Web: “In an era of cruel performance, kindness is punk as fuck. Be punk as fuck. »
Epidemic of loneliness
The American Psychiatric Association — in the New York Times this summer — warned that 25% of the population felt more lonely than before the pandemic. It’s called an epidemic of loneliness and isolation. The article points to underlying conditions, including a loss of trust and disconnection in person. And physical closeness isn’t the only cure; emotional closeness is just as important. bit.ly/4eq9Apw
School administrators have been sounding the alarm this week: because of screens, preschoolers are now having difficulty connecting with each other. And, as a result, conflict situations are increasing.
Louise wrote to me on Facebook: “Welcoming people on hiking trails has become a political act!”
This week, I was admiring the full harvest moon at dusk on a path in my neighborhood. Three women were walking their dogs. We joked about this moon being so impressive and so close to Earth.
One of them (holá Antonieta), encouraged me: “Make a wish!” Thanks to this stranger, I sprinkled a little magic on this moment. Her Mexican culture came to re-enchant mine. And, for a moment, created an invisible link between the cosmos and us.
A wish? I didn’t ask for the moon, just a little bit ofubuntu down here.
People are human beings produced by the society they live in. You encourage people by seeing the good in them.
Instagram: josee.blanchette