Who am I to decide the sex of my unborn child?

Mr. Minister of Justice,

Today, my heart is heavy, because last Thursday you interfered in my private life, more precisely, in my mailbox when several people told me of their distress when they read some Articles of Bill 2. This, exactly one month before the date of birth of my first child, one month before the mention “father” precedes my chosen name on his birth certificate.

According to the ultrasound, I will be the father of a child who will be considered a boy. However, if my child is born intersex, my partner and I will be asked to choose their gender. Who am I to decide on this fundamental aspect of my child when he is not even aware of being in the world yet? Right now, even though the process is difficult, I could wait until he grows up, realizes his identity before deciding for him, then preventing me from making a decision based only on genitals.

Decision

However, according to section 24 of your Bill would require us to make a binary decision (girl or boy) “as soon as possible”. This choice, made “hastily” will quickly lead him to have to comply with the binary standards established by society when he will not yet be aware of his environment. He will then have to live his whole life with the repercussions of this hasty decision that we made because of you. One month away from living this wonderful experience of being a parent, I feel sad about this decline in our society.

Thirty-three years ago, I was born a “girl”. Three years ago, I made the decision to make my gender shift transition. This decision has changed my life in a positive way. I prioritized myself, for the very first time. Thanks to the progressive laws passed in 2013 and 2016, I was able to chart my course. I had the choice to do the steps in the order I wanted.

What about my friends who haven’t made this decision yet? They are scared, they are afraid all the time that their lives will be turned upside down by this kind of Bill that undermines our rights.

Article 23 of Bill 2 provides that the change of the designation of sex in the civil status will be possible only after surgery “involving a structural modification of his sexual organs and intended to change his apparent sexual characteristics permanently. “. Legislative provision for genital mutilation is barbaric and unworthy of Quebec society. Forcing a person to undergo 4 to 5 operations to be legally recognized is foolish. Besides, did you know that the number of surgeons in Quebec performing these surgeries can be counted on the fingers of one hand? Did you know that the waiting list for this type of surgery is several years? Are you aware that her surgeries are not desired by all trans people because they are risky, have an impact on physical, psychological and sexual well-being? Do you take into consideration that this would force a good number of people to undergo these surgeries when they do not feel the basic need?

To add insult to injury, the Government has decided to differentiate between sex and gender identity on government documents thus creating a distinction that will promote discrimination. These legislative changes will create a climate of fear, judgment and misunderstanding between cisgender and trans people.

Trans person

I’m a trans person, I’m a lover, I’m a friend, I’m a coworker, I’m a brother, I’m a son, I’m a future dad, even though I don’t have a penis, something which for you seems a determining organ. I cannot conceive that my child will live in a society where the genitals define who we are. I will always give the tools to my child so that he feels good, that he feels recognized, loved, supported. We will teach him inclusion, strength, resilience and respect for others first and foremost.

To all the beautiful people in the heart of the trans community: we are not alone.es We never will be. We will not pass over in silence. To you, our allies, it is time to speak out loud and support us in this fight for inclusion. To you, Minister, I would like to speak to you from heart to heart. I would like to tell you what our community experiences every day and our current issues. As an elected official, you have the responsibility to inform yourself of our reality before legislating, obviously, you have not done your homework.

Alexandre Bedard, A worried future dad, Advisor on trans issues – Alliance Arc-en-ciel de Québec


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