“When I heard that my son wanted to die, I felt like a bad father”

It is the day of the fight against school bullying this Thursday, November 18. An evil that affects 700,000 students each year in France, and 6 to 10% of children and adolescents during their schooling. An evil against which Olivier Laurendeau has been fighting for 8 years with his association, Agir contre les violence scolaire. Before speaking in schools and colleges in Nantes, next week, he was the guest of France Bleu Loire Océan.

My son attempted suicide after 9 years of harassment

Olivier Laurandeau, you have embarked on this fight against school bullying because your son has been the victim of it. What happened to him? “My son started being teased, sidelined, from first grade. And it continued throughout his schooling until third grade. He was beaten, he suffered all kinds of harassment. This led him, on February 4, 2012, to make a suicide attempt after 9 years of harassment. It was at a time when there was no talk of bullying since the first campaign dates back to 2013“.

How did you, as a parent, react when you realized what was happening to her? “We felt completely helpless. We didn’t have a lot of support back then. We talked more about bickering and kidding. When I heard that my son wanted to die, I felt like a bad father. because I had not seen, I had not understood his discomfort. It was the trigger to create the association. “

Interventions from kindergarten

Since you trained, you work in schools. What do you say to the children? Can you explain to them the harm it can do? “From middle school, I start telling them our story. But the association starts in kindergarten. To the little ones, we tell a story, that of a little sheep going to a new school. As it is new, a little different, it is put aside. And the goal is to make them discuss what we do if someone is new, if we don’t like someone. How we should be together, how one should live in a group “.

Talking to other students their age can be more reassuring for victims

There are also measures put in place by the National Education to fight against bullying at school. In particular sentinel students who are trained to spot this harassment and help the victims. It works well ? “Yes, because we realize that a child’s first instinct is not necessarily to talk to an adult. But to talk to someone their age, someone identified, that can be more reassuring. And since these students are trained, they can get the victims to go see an adult and identify if we are really in a case of harassment and try to create a climate of trust at least in the courtyard ” .

Since the first confinement, we have received between 25 and 30% more calls related to cyberstalking

But this harassment also continues outside of school, via social networks. The Minister of Education, Jean-Michel Blanquer, is meeting the heads of the major digital platforms on this subject, this Thursday afternoon. It is urgent to act also on this side? “Extremely urgent, yes. Since the first confinement, there has been an explosion of calls related to cyberstalking. Between 25 and 30% more calls. And we see that digital is arriving earlier and earlier in schools since we already has mobile phones, tablets that are left to children who are alone in their room when starting primary school, between CP and CE2. So yes, there is an urgent need to put actions in place: for example a mandatory parental control on every phone. “

You have to accompany your child, discuss it, know what he is doing on social networks

And, as a parent, do you have to dare to look into your children’s phone if you have any doubts? “It is above all necessary to accompany your child, to discuss it, to know what he is doing. Not necessarily to spy, but to discuss what is happening. Since, if something negative happens, the child will be reassured to talk about it. . But you have to go and see from time to time, question your child. Because he can be a victim, but he can also be a stalker because the group effect means that he will find himself doing something that he is not doing. would not have wanted “.


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