Deaths by suicide are twice as common among men as among women according to the WHO. Masculinity remains too often associated with the idea of not showing vulnerability, deplores a professional.
One month to break a taboo. Like every year since 2012, Wednesday November 1 marks the start of “Movember”. This movement born in Australia invites people to grow a mustache throughout the month of November to raise awareness of diseases that specifically affect men, such as testicular and prostate cancer, etc. But also to mental health issues, which involve issues specific to male audiences. “Many studies show that a man does not say when he is not well, because he does not want to admit his weaknesses”points out Mathilde Bourdon, spokesperson for the NGO Movember in France, to AFP.
According to the World Health Organization, “more than twice as many men as women end their lives, with a rate of 12.6 per 100,000 men compared to 5.4 per 100,000 women” in 2019. In France, between January 2020 and March 2021, the National Suicide Observatory counted “11,210 deaths by suicide, 75% of which concern men”. In order to understand this gap between men and women, franceinfo interviewed Vincent Lapierre, psychologist and director of the Paris Suicide Prevention Center.
Franceinfo: How can we explain this difference in the number of deaths by suicide between men and women?
Vincent Lapierre: As a general rule, men take care of themselves less well than women, especially when it comes to mental health. This is also the only subject on which gender stereotypes work to the disadvantage of men. Statistically, men consult fewer psychologists and are more affected by a certain number of addictions, including alcohol. However, alcohol acts as a mask which delays the patient’s treatment, or even complicates it, because it is a risk factor for committing a suicidal act.
One of the reasons that can explain this is the intimate relationship. In gendered representations of the masculine, speaking spontaneously about one’s intimacy is not rewarding. In fact, men don’t necessarily have trouble asking for help, but they won’t ask for it from someone they don’t know, like a caregiver for example. The example that illustrates this situation well is that of a man and a woman in a car who are looking for their way because their GPS is not working. A woman will ask for directions much more spontaneously than a man. It’s stupid, but that’s still how it works.
On the other hand, confiding in a friend, a colleague or a sports partner is possible. Provided, however, that this friend sparks this conversation, asks the question. This is why Movember tries to encourage what we call “positive social peer pressure”, that is to say, to ensure that this friend, this colleague, comes and asks “How are you ?” Then, dialogue becomes possible and it has more chance than a stranger of obtaining a response. The goal is to say that men among themselves are, in some way, the most capable of generating freedom of speech around mental health problems.
Does this mean that women resort to suicide less than men?
Statistically, more men die by suicide. On the other hand, there are more suicide attempts among young women, compared to men. This is because men use more lethal means. In addition, they let problems evolve longer and get worse. Women tend to seek professional, social, medical or psychological help, while men often take the problem into account late, or even too late. To summarize, it’s not that women are less concerned by the issue, it’s that in general, they seek care and help early enough, which means that they die less from suicide than men. .
Is age a determining factor?
If we look at suicide rates, that is to say as a proportion of the population and not in total number of deaths, men over 75 have a very significant excess mortality from suicide. These are men who do not consult at all and who are more vulnerable than when they were 30 years old. So the ratio between the number of suicide attempts and the number of suicides is close to 1. Which means that when very old men want to end their lives, they succeed.
There has been a lot of talk about mental health, and particularly suicide attempts, during periods of confinement and the Covid-19 pandemic. Were men more affected than women?
In fact, the very clear increase in the number of suicide attempts over this period was observed among young women, more than among men. On the other hand, suicide mortality remained essentially the same. Above all, we have seen more suicide attempts among the very young and we think that indeed, this is a post-Covid effect. But we analyze it more as an effect of amplification of contexts of intra-family violence or social adversity, linked to confinement.
Will having talked about it so much allow men to confide more and delay treatment less, as you said earlier?
We can hope that men confide more, it’s true. However, we do not yet know in which direction the situation will develop. As prevention actors, we tell ourselves that we absolutely must not relax our efforts thinking that “it’s okay, young people are talking about it, it’s settled”. Nothing is ever won. The model has not radically evolved and we are still growing up with representations that have not really changed.
What are the warning signs?
You have to be interested in what changes in a person’s behavior. In those we don’t know well, it may be a change in appearance or habits. Among people we know a little better, we can notice changes in the pace of life, the use of alcohol or different toxins. Or someone who used to make a lot of jokes and no longer makes them. Or, on the contrary, someone who never did any and who, suddenly, does a lot more. Or even changes in mood, the impression that a person was enjoying doing things that they no longer do, or without pleasure.
What should we do if we spot this type of behavior?
Basically, the message to get across is to follow your intuition. We are all sentient beings, even a very strong man with a big mustache. So, we all have the right to come and question a loved one when we feel that things are not going well. It’s actually a very good initiative. At worst, what we risk is being sent packing, which is not serious.
Once the question is asked, you have to make yourself available. This is called the Alec method, for “ask”, “listen”, “encourages action” And “check in” [“demander”, “écouter”, “encourager à agir” et “prendre des nouvelles”]. You must therefore ask the question at a time when you will be able to listen to the answer, without being taken up by something else or sending four text messages. Then, we must encourage action: suggest going to a consultation, or call 3114, the hotline number dedicated to people who have suicidal thoughts. Or simply suggest an activity that is fun, like a bike ride. Finally, remember to check that things are getting better, because you have to show that the concern you may have expressed does not dissipate, and that the bond you created does not disappear.
If you need help, if you are worried or if you are faced with the suicide of a member of your entourage, there are anonymous listening services. The Suicide listen line can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 01 45 39 40 00. Other information is also available on the website of the Ministry of Solidarity and Health.