The old man appreciates solitude to a certain extent, because it allows him to hide all his miseries from others.
The old man is struggling with an invisible monster that attacks him from everywhere and he does not know how to defend himself. If the blows only hit the inside and left the outside intact, he would not have to hide, but the blows are delivered inside as well as outside. One day it is a blow to the eyes, another day an attack on the joints, another day it is the ears, the nose runs, the skin becomes stained with red, brown marks… and the mucous membranes dry out.
At the same time, vital functions are attacked: digestion (gas on gas), circulation (heart weakness), breathing which becomes more difficult with the slightest effort, excretion (slower urination or uncontrollable urination), and these disorders often cause collateral damage in addition to that already visible on the surface.
The old man prefers (and by far) not to display his decline in front of those who are likely to love him, especially since the visitors will want to help him, but they are powerless: they do not know any more than the old man how to defend themselves against the blows of the invisible monster, because no one yet knows. So the old man appreciates this moment when he finds himself (again) alone, with no one to watch him try unsuccessfully to dodge the blows that are being dealt to him, like a boxer being beaten would wish that all the spectators would disappear and the cameras would turn off.
That’s why for the old man, the bed, his bed, at home (not the hospital bed), is one of the best places in the world, one of the sweetest, perhaps the place where he is happiest (or least unhappy), because he knows that it is the best hiding place, the others not normally coming that far; in the evening, when it is time to “close the day”, it is the best time of the day, because the others also go to sleep and he no longer has to hide from anyone. The bed is not necessarily the place where the old man sleeps: he can just as well sleep in an armchair, during the day, while at night, in his bed, he does not always sleep…
The old man would like to continue to participate actively in the conversation, as he used to (it is one of the few pleasures he still has), especially since he feels that he has as many things to say—and things as interesting and intelligent—as before. Ideas come to his head as abundantly as before, but the words to express them are a little slower in arriving, just a little too slow for it not to be a little too late by the time they are ready to be uttered: the conversation has moved on and his remarks would no longer be ad hoc…