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The repetitive pattern in love is characterized by repeated actions from one relationship to another. Definition, cause, consequences, solutions, the psychologist Paola Scemama Ittah evokes these points for Brut.
Choosing the same type of partner, behaving the same way, ending the relationship the same way: these repeated actions in relationships characterize a repetitive love pattern. “A repetitive pattern in love is a pattern in which we will repeat behaviors but also choices of similar partners unconsciously in our romantic relationships” explains the psychologist Paola Scemamy Ittah. These repetitions are due to the internalization of certain patterns of past experiences. A person who has had a relationship with an emotional lack will potentially get together with an individual who will not be compatible.
“You have to be aware of it first”
The most common repeating pattern in love is the fear of abandonment. Paola Scemamy Ittah confides that If a person has been the victim in his childhood of abandonment, separation, death or loss, he will derive three types of behavior: either she will derive a secondary benefit from it, by saying ‘you see he left me and as usual, I am being left’; either say ‘I’m going to show others that I may be afraid of abandonment but now I’m going to act and I’m going to solve this problem’; or else relive it because there is a sense of security in reliving it because it is something that the person already knows”, adds Paola Scemamy Ittah.
To be able to avoid the repetitive pattern of love, you must first “be aware of it”, says psychologist Paola Scemama Ittah. “What is important is the behavior that I will put in place vis-à-vis this person in the relationship. So I can break the repetitive love pattern if I change my behavior even if the choice of partner is pretty much the same.”