Between a breathtaking passion and a sweet, reassuring and comforting love, how can we settle down? Does choosing necessarily mean giving up? When to dive, finally?
It is all these great and no less eternal questions that the author, presenter and actress Valérie Chevalier tackles in her Wandering certaintiesseventh opus both romantic and literary, idealistic and introspective, full of leads and as many dead ends, published by Hurtubise these days.
In a word: how do you know when you have found the right one, the right one, that person with whom you really want to go a little way (of eternity)?
If these existential questions bother you, pass on. But if, on the contrary, you stay at the same address and thrive on these wanderings, know that you will be copiously (poetically?) served.
The book turns and turns the question from all its angles, over nearly 250 pages, starting with the story of a thirty-year-old woman in search of a certain romantic ideal. An absolute, if you like. “A masterpiece, if not nothing”, to paraphrase Alexandre Jardin, the idol of the narrator… and the author.
Valérie Chevalier does not hide it: this novel, halfway between a story and an essay, is largely inspired by her life. “It’s accepted,” she confirms straight away, making us a strong espresso, in her little apartment in the Plateau, which looks a lot like the one we imagined. It must be said that it is the scene of many tears in the text.
Sweet relationship
This is because the “certainties” and ideas of grandeur of her narrator are undermined here when she finds herself one day in a sweet relationship, without passion. The chosen man seduces her with use, in her daily life (and this apartment), with little attentions and other simple pleasures. Hence his question: is it the right one? A question all the more delicate as he approaches his mid-thirties, his desire to start a family becomes more and more pressing. “How can we reconcile this desire for passion,” says the author, in allusion to Jardin, “with the desire to start a family and build for the long term? »
“Am I betraying the great lover, passionate, irreducible”, she will ask, in a flight among many others, which not all Carrie Bradshaws would deny (Sex and the City) among us. In doing so, she returns to several passions from her past, “vagabond” encounters that are as invigorating as they are ephemeral, certainly, but which nevertheless made her the woman she is today.
“This book is in line with the Uproar of possibilities [2021], continues Valérie Chevalier. It’s in the same spirit, more stuck to me. […] There is a side of being exposed. » Completely assumed, as we have said. Many readers will undoubtedly recognize themselves in her reflections: “Prince Charming, in princess books,” she illustrates, “he always arrives in a fiery passion. It’s a certainty. But in life, there are more nuances! Is it because I haven’t met the right one yet? »
PHOTO PATRICK SANFAÇON, THE PRESS
Valerie Chevalier
When there is doubt, is it the sign of the end? Or is this all normal, and part of the love experience?
Valérie Chevalier, author
Certainly, these tortuous questions are nothing new here. This is evidenced by these numerous quotations, from Nietzsche to Wajdi Mouawad via Marguerite Duras and Annie Ernaux, sprinkled here and there in the story. One of the first sums up the author’s thoughts well, yet it goes back to Simone de Beauvoir: “It was necessary for the chosen one to impose himself on me […] by a sort of evidence; otherwise I would ask myself: why him and not someone else. This doubt was incompatible with true love. »
“In addition, today we have so much freedom,” continues Valérie Chevalier. We can buy a house alone, live as a libertine in a pinch and bear witness to it, all these freedoms that our grandmothers did not have, that makes the choices even more difficult! »
Not to mention all the possible avenues in terms of motherhood: “I can freeze my eggs […] making a baby with my gay best friend […] live in shared custody […]single parent […] There are so many options, it’s dizzying! »
Great freedoms
Let’s be frank: all these questions are the fruit of great freedoms, in short, great privileges. Valérie Chevalier knows this, she slips in a word about it towards the end: “We agree that these are problems of people who don’t have any,” she writes. And she brings it up again in an interview: “It’s a great luxury to ask yourself these questions,” she confirms. Lots of women stay [avec un homme] for economic reasons. I have the privilege that my only criterion is: the feeling of love. What a privilege! »
Nevertheless: privilege or not, the impasse is there: “How can I reconcile my desires for independence and feminism and this desire to be completely overwhelmed by a man? »
The question is obviously not close to being resolved, but far from Valérie Chevalier the idea of being discouraged. ” Oh no ! There’s nothing discouraging about a human asking questions, she retorts. It can’t be, don’t worry. And I love digging into all that! »
Besides, good news. By dint of “digging”, the eternal romantic ended up finding, if not answers, at least a certain “conviction”: “There will not necessarily be certainties,” she suggests, “but I would say that that takes the conviction of wanting to build together. » The key word here being: “together”. “At some point you just have to dive in!” »
Vagrant certainties
Hurtubise
244 pages