Aromanticism, highlighted in the series ‘Heartstopper’ by Alice Oseman, refers to the absence of romantic attraction, distinguishing it from asexuality, which involves a lack of sexual attraction. Aromantic individuals can still experience emotional connections and enjoy deep friendships without desiring romantic relationships. Misconceptions suggest that aromantic people are emotionally unavailable, but they can feel a range of emotions. Some may engage in non-romantic relationships, focusing on companionship rather than love.
Understanding Aromanticism: A Unique Orientation
The acclaimed series ‘Heartstopper’ has brought attention to a lesser-known sexual orientation: aromanticism. Directed by Alice Oseman, who identifies as both asexual and aromantic, the show resonates with viewers who may feel misunderstood. Oseman shared her journey with the BBC, stating, “I didn’t really learn these terms until I was at university. Honestly, if I had seen asexual characters during my teenage years, I would have grasped this aspect of myself sooner, potentially alleviating much anxiety and confusion.”
What Does It Mean to Be Aromantic?
Aromanticism is characterized by the absence of romantic attraction. While society often equates fulfillment with love and romance, not everyone experiences these sentiments. Aromantic individuals do not feel the familiar butterflies associated with romantic connections. It’s crucial to differentiate aromanticism from asexuality; the latter refers to a lack of sexual attraction, while aromantic individuals simply do not develop romantic feelings.
According to sex therapist Alain Héril, who authored ‘Desiring Differently – A Journey into the World of Asexualities,’ romantic attraction involves the desire to connect with someone emotionally and share intimate moments. Aromantic individuals, however, do not seek romantic partnerships but may still experience desire. This distinction underscores the difference between the two orientations. Freud noted this difference, describing ‘tender currents’ for non-sexual attraction and ‘sensual currents’ for sexual desire.
Aromanticism Is Not Insensitivity
Contrary to some misconceptions, being aromantic does not equate to being emotionally unavailable. Aromantic individuals can experience a range of emotions, such as joy, sadness, and excitement in various aspects of life. Milène Leroy, a sexologist, notes that aromantic people often cherish deep friendships and emotional connections without longing for a romantic commitment.
Interestingly, some aromantic individuals do enter relationships. While they may engage in sexual activities, their dynamics tend to prioritize companionship over romantic love. Leroy emphasizes that most aromantic people do not seek therapy, as they do not feel a void from the absence of romantic feelings; they simply do not experience them in the first place.