The year that spoke out of both sides of the mouth

Do you think the year 2023 was confusing? Did you have difficulty understanding certain issues? Do you have the impression that the people in the news were saying one thing and the opposite? That their lips went one way and their boots the other?

To help you better understand this year full of sound and fury, here is a list that will help you see things more clearly.

Or not.

1) Men and women no longer exist. Everything is fluid, non-binary, blurry.

On the other hand, if a man transforms into a woman, you must call him “Madam” and allow him to participate in women’s sports competitions. And if a woman turns into a man, you must call him “Sir” and allow him to participate in men’s sports competitions.

So the sexes still exist? Yes, but only for trans people.

You do not understand? Me neither.

2) Religious extremists who dug tunnels for months so they could kill children in front of their parents, massacre young people attending a music festival, kidnap babies and old women, shoot unarmed men as if they were rabbits, raping women, then decapitating them, and hiding hostages in hospitals and schools are valiant freedom fighters.

The soldiers who bomb those who committed these abuses are barbarians and war criminals.

You do not understand? Me neither.

3) At the end of October, Imam Adil Charkaoui said, during a demonstration for Palestine bringing together hundreds of people: “O God, take care of the aggressor Zionists. Take charge of the enemies of Gaza. Count them one by one and kill them in the long run and do not exclude any of them.”

More than two months later, no charges of inciting hatred have been brought against him. Even if this speech was recorded by cameras!

Meanwhile, professors and journalists lose their jobs just because they said the title of a book by Pierre Vallières.

You do not understand? Me neither.

4) Québec Solidaire defends workers’ rights, fights unbridled capitalism and denounces evil multinationals who ignore the laws.

The same party buys advertising on Facebook, a hyper-capitalist multinational that ignores the laws and threatens the livelihood of thousands of journalists.

You do not understand? Me neither.

5) Catherine Dorion publishes a book in which she says all the bad things she thinks about the media.

And to promote her book, she is making the rounds in the media.

You do not understand? Me neither.

6) François Legault affirms that if Quebec welcomes too many immigrants, Louisianization threatens us.

Canada opens the immigration floodgates and François Legault does nothing.

You do not understand? Me neither.

7) The Plante administration affirms that the Office de consultation publique de Montréal is an organization essential to democratic life, because it allows the City to take into account the opinions of citizens before embarking on important projects.

Citizens tell the Public Consultation Office that they do not want the City of Montreal to close the Camillien-Houde road to motorists, but the City decides to ignore their opinion and move forward with the closure of the Camillien-Houde route to motorists.

You do not understand? Me neither.

8) The Wokes say there is nothing more serious than sexism and racism.

However, the Wokes want certain jobs to be banned for white men.

You do not understand? Me neither.

9) Quebecers want nothing to do with sovereignty.

But Quebecers want to elect a sovereignist party.

You do not understand? Me neither.

10) The FTQ, which is on strike, believes that the government should treat state employees better instead of spending its money haphazardly.

In the midst of negotiations with the government, the president of the FTQ, accompanied by around ten of her union colleagues, is going to the United Arab Emirates, one of the largest oil producers on the planet, to talk about the environment – ​​everything that, thanks to the contributions paid by the members of his union.

You do not understand? Me neither.

11) Being a drag queen is not a sexual orientation.

Those who criticize drag queens are homophobic.

A child dresses up as a Japanese warrior for Halloween? CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!

A man disguises himself as a woman to earn a living? VERY COOL!

You do not understand? Me neither.

12) Western feminists organize campaigns to denounce violence against women.

When Israeli women are attacked, raped and massacred by Hamas Islamists, Western feminists remain silent, under the pretext that “the situation is complicated”.

Feminists take the word of all women who say they are victims of assault… except Jewish women.

You do not understand? Me neither.

13) The Trudeau government says loud and clear that the defense of French is important for Canada.

The Governor General, certain Liberal ministers and the Premier of New Brunswick – the only officially bilingual province in the country – are incapable of speaking French. And English-speaking federal civil servants are systematically favored by Ottawa when the time comes to grant promotions.

You do not understand? Me neither.

In short, you don’t understand anything about the year 2023?

Don’t be ashamed: many people didn’t understand anything either.

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