The summer of my 15th birthday | The Press

Oh, summer! Finally ! Two long months of freedom! But to do what, exactly? Big and eternal question, let’s say it, for many parents of these young people, too old for the camps, who often refuse all our plans. How the hell do these 15-year-olds, not always exactly responsible, deal? We dared: we simply asked them.

Thursday afternoon after class, in front of a secondary school in the Rosemont district. It is scorching hot. With a photographer and an intern, we are literally crane-footing to catch some 3-year-olds^e secondary.

We believe in it moderately, expecting to wipe several refusals and other eyes in the sky. Or worse: evasive answers in obscure jargon (like “Bruh!”, or even worse: “Boomer!”) And yet, quite the opposite awaits us.

With the help of a nice accomplice (thank you Christophe, the son of an equally nice friend), several young people come to us spontaneously. First, in a series of surprises: no, teenagers don’t run away from adults (or the media, hooray!).

Second surprise: yes, they have a lot to tell. And they also indulge with ease and generosity. So we take the opportunity to probe them in passing on their family relationships, their ideal summer and other major fundamental questions.

It seems like a very light subject like that, but in the end not so much: it’s because 15 years old is also the age of discoveries, as we know, a winding (tortuous?) transition to adulthood, ultimately leading to independence. A key age, finally, with all the complexities that implies.

“I’m going to travel with my parents for two weeks,” Hamilton Kalinda spontaneously confides.

If he intends to work? “Surely, but I don’t know yet,” he replies. But I would like to have some pocket money to pay for things on my own. But just a little, to be able to enjoy my friends, since it’s summer! »

If it’s the good life, summer, when you’re 15? “Yeah, I admit,” replies the young man, all smiles.

It was to be expected, no, teenagers don’t necessarily like to be organized (“my parents gave up!”), but they don’t want to spend their holidays idle either. As proof: “Otherwise it’s a bit boring, confides Aiko Kobayakawa in turn, taking refuge in the shade to talk to us. And we get bored in the parks. […] When we do activities, it is nice. »

What activities, exactly? Think: swimming pool, Jean-Doré beach, cinema (Barbie, IndianaJones and other expected blockbusters) and various sports.

New surprise, taken from this anything but scientific vox pop, but no less revealing: these young people almost all have plans with their parents, with whom, yes, relations seem rather good, thank you. Even “very good”. For what it’s worth: “My mom is super nice!” one will say. ” My father ? He’s my best friend! another will say. Not so good, will certainly say a third, “but I admit that I am also the problem…”

If many are already working, this is not the case for all. In particular Hugo-Félix Therrien Landa, who does not want this kind of responsibility at all. “Oh no, I’d rather be with my friends!” Ah yes, and they are also generally well aware of gaining independence, even grateful!

“Fifteen is the age when you ask yourself a lot of questions,” analyzes author and screenwriter Sarah-Maude Beauchesne (slush heart), to whom we owe several novels for adolescents. “Fifteen years is anxiety, but it is also wanting to live an authentic life, finally. It is the age of freedom, independence, revolt, too! »

Talk to actress Edith Cochrane, mother of three children, including a 15-year-old, precisely. “When they were little, I took great pleasure in planning vacations! I liked that! While ? That’s not it anymore! They don’t want to be organized anymore! And that’s okay! »

The pandemic would have a lot to do with it: “Before, they went to camps, continues the actress and host. The pandemic arrived and they stopped. And there, they reach an age where they no longer want to board. »

Except that we know, they also spend a lot of time on their famous screens. “So we want to occupy them! ” But how ? Let them have fun “on their own”? She more or less believes in it.

Edith Cochrane doesn’t take too kindly to the idea of ​​letting them find a little job. On the contrary. “It can be a place of sociability, hopes the one who herself was a camp instructor at the same age. A middle the fun ! »

Nevertheless, “it’s a real question,” she confirms. What do we do with 15 year olds? “I wonder if it’s not perhaps in the minds of the parents. It seems like 16 is seen as the age of independence, and in our minds, 15 is seen as closer to 13 or 14. As if 16 comes with a seal of responsibility, she reflects. And then at 15, we still want to keep them in the family fold…”

The opinion of the experts

It is a “complex” age, halfway between childhood and independence. And the two summer months can indeed be quite a challenge for parents of 15-year-olds. Hence the importance of reflecting on them, discussing them, and above all listening to them.

This is what we retain from the advice issued by clinical psychologist and speaker Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier, in an interview.

Whether it’s finding a little job, seeing friends, or spending time with family, even on their screens, a golden rule: “balance”, recalls the psychologist.

“We are at an age where we can actually make a little money, she says, using our skills or our energies can be interesting, but do we want to fall into a lot of hours? […] It all depends on what you do outside of that. »

Exactly, let’s talk about it: what do we do? “It is completely normal for friends to take up more and more space,” continues the psychologist. This helps in the development of their identity. But from there to disappearing completely from the decor, there is a nuance. […] At 15, family remains essential. »

The secret ? “Balance”, repeats Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier, suggesting that parents try to target activities that could appeal to them. Ask the question: “What tempts us?” », involve them in the decision, thus supporting their autonomy, without imposing anything. The idea being, it will be understood, to feed your connection, in a word, your link. “But don’t expect an incredible connection either, she laughs, we’re not necessarily going to talk, but at least have a good time. […] We won’t know everything and that’s okay. We are there and we create opportunities where they will want to connect. ” Or not !

As for the famous screens, Geneviève Beaulieu-Pelletier suggests, once again, discussing with young people their place during these holidays.

Not just any: “A mature discussion respecting their needs. »

Note, finally, that the parent must also do some “mourning” here. “The relationship will evolve, confirms the psychologist, yes, it may be the last summer, or the penultimate. […] Next year there may be a boyfriend or a blonde, it will be different. […] There is something to do for the parent, a mourning to do. And if we don’t, we deprive the young person of their autonomy. ” It is said.

Four activities to do with your teens

15-year-olds are at a stage in their development where they especially need to “explore”. “But they all have trouble exploring!” », Laments the pediatrician Jean-François Chicoine, well known for his outspokenness. Want to motivate them? Here’s how.

Activate theeur body

“They know it, but find an exercise they’re going to stick with,” he said. It is good for the body and also for the mind. » Biking, running, walking, anything, as long as they move. And they hang.

Make plein air

“Discovering nature, he says, is good for humans. It increases dopamine and serotonin,” he argues. If we talk a lot about the environment, says Jean-François Chicoine, “there is also nature, which we don’t often talk about! »

Immerse them in a crowd

“They must go to meet the other, he says, apart from their family and their loved ones […]. Send them to festivals, a crowd, they don’t know that! […] But it’s provocative, a colorful crowd. And that forges identity.

Feed their “cultural malnutrition”

“How many young people have never entered a bookstore? Take advantage of the summer to counter it”, this malnutrition, continues the pediatrician, inviting families to go to the museum, see shows, theater, exhibitions. Objective ? “Explore, take risks, beyond the cocoon!” In a word: grow.